4 Days til Christmas, 3 days til Christmas Eve, 2 Days til Wednesday and 5 minutes until you wish you didn’t waste your time reading this.

The elves are hard at work, Toys are being mass-produced somewhere in the north pole, and Santa is warming up his reindeer for his annual nightly-flight around the world. It could only mean one thing…

Christmas is upon us! While I admit, Christmas used to excite me much, much more when I was a child, there’s still plenty to love about this time of year.

Like Christmas music. Sure, there’s the classics like Silent Night, Jingle Bell Rock, and The Little Drummer Boy, but nothing will ever top:

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays.

Haha but seriously, it didn’t apply for Nsync, but Christmas albums are usually the kiss of death for singers. There’s a lot of shitty Christmas albums out there. Like this one:

Yeah, that worked out well.

Or this one:

Not a singer, but yeah… another one currently sitting in the $1 bin at Wal-Mart

I think it’s time for somebody else to put out a Christmas album. One’s that’s actually good…

Coming Winter of ’10. Be on the lookout.

Christmas movies are also fun. Of course nothing tops A Christmas Story. Definitely a tradition of mine to watch that every Christmas eve. Did you know that all the snow in that movie isn’t real? It’s all fake. Look it up on the interweb if you don’t believe me. Miracle on 34th street is also a classic. It”s a Wonderful Life is very overrated. Nightmare Before Christmas is delightful, if that even counts. It covers two holidays… very clever.  One of my future goals is to create a romantic-comedy that combines Valentine’s day and Arbor Day. What even is Arbor day…. does any one actually know? Woah, tangent.

Also, just the general all-around holiday spirit. Love. Happiness. Faith. Family. All that crap.

Speaking of Christmas, check out this poem I wrote two years ago in a Creative Writing class I took. It’s called “Santa’s Revenge” and written in the perspective of Santa Claus:

It’s not an easy job
Delivering presents for a living
Christmas may be everyone’s favorite holiday
But mine will always be Thanksgiving
Flying to every house is impossible
In one single night
I’ve never told this to anyone
But I’ve always been afraid of heights
If I’m not getting stuck in a chimney
Then the fireplace is blocked…
Is it too much to ask
To leave the front door unlocked
Or maybe a window
Just leave it open a notch
I’m not going to steal anything
Unless I find a nice watch
And please leave me something good to drink
The night would go a lot quicker
If instead of leaving milk and cookies
You left some hard liquor
Don’t be surprised
If you wake up Christmas morning
To find your house empty
It means I stole all your belongings
It’ll be Santa’s revenge
And not a moment to soon
I’ll change my identity
And move to Cancun

Good, right? Of course it is. Alright, I’m tired. I’m gonna finish watching “Inglourious Basterds”. I’ll let you all know how it is tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll all be sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation.

Oh, and one more thing. As a child, I don’t think I ever believed in Santa. But I believe in him now. Is that weird?

3 thoughts on “4 Days til Christmas, 3 days til Christmas Eve, 2 Days til Wednesday and 5 minutes until you wish you didn’t waste your time reading this.

  1. I stopped reading after you said “It’s A Wonderful Life” is overrated. How can I believe anything else you say after that comment was typed out in your blog?

  2. I applauded when I saw IAWL is overrated. Way to tell it look it is!

    -#1 Subscriber

  3. Jews shouldnt be allowed to comment on christmas movies. Its a wonderful life came out in 1946 and laid the foundation for all non jewish movies. Thats like saying a christmas carol was a terrible story. You killed Jesus get over it

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