Curling!

I’ve actually been pretty bored by the Olympics thus far. So far it’s been mainly speed skating, skiing, and figure skating. Figure skating I never had an interest it. We get it – you’re graceful. I will never be that graceful, nor do I want to be. When I watch figure skating, I root for people to fall… it’s funny.

With speed skating and skiing you’re just watching people, well… skate and ski… not very interesting, and you don’t really know what’s going on. The snowboard cross is pretty cool… that has entertained me. I wish I could snowboard.

But that was until today. I had been looking forward to today because men’s hockey begins… but shit, I didn’t realize that something else would catch my interest… curling!

Right now, I’m watching USA vs. Germany. Curling has a reputation for being a boring sport… but damn, this is intense! You can just see the focus on their faces and they slide those… little plate things… towards the target. As it’s sliding, two other teammates sweep the ice with brooms as they try to direct it exactly where they want it to go. When these guys retire from curling, they can probably have a future in home-cleaning services. Because damn, they’re good.

And people always make fun of Germans because whenever they say anything, they sound like they’re angry. Well, that applies for curling too. As the plate is sliding they are screaming at the top of their lungs, as if they’re willing the plate to where they want it to go.

I wonder how you come to the realization that you could be an Olympian curler? I’m guessing that maybe at a young age they realized that they were very good at shuffleboard? Because it is essentially the same thing, minus the sweeping.

I’m watching the end of this USA-Germany match right now. Germany is up 7-5… I’m not exactly sure how the scoring works, but I know you want to obviously get it close to the bullseye. OK, USA is shooting, his name is Isaacson…. A jew! There it goes, they’re sweeping… it lands in the blue section. Germany is apparently trying to put up a wall in front of the bullseye so that USA can’t score points… interesting strategy. Every time the USA goes the Germany proceed to knock it right off.

Hmm apparently there is a clock in curling… and if you don’t finish within the time limit you have to forfeit. That is… something.

Wow, Germany just called a time-out. Yes, curling apparently has time-outs. Because it’s such a fast-paced game as it is, that you need to slow it down to mull things over. Or maybe they needed a new broom.

And now USA is calling a time-out. Man, talk about dramatic finishes! I’m not sure if this is a 20-second time-out or a full time-out. Now one of them is drinking water… apparently curling causes dehydration. The announcer just said that there are a lot of “Monday morning Quarterbacks” in curling… yeah, that’s how I plan to spend my Monday.

Hmm apparently the timeout worked out for the USA because they just shot another plate into the blue section (one away from the bullseye) and now they have two there. Not sure what that means but it must be good. I’m guessing Germany is gonna try to knock them both out in one go. Let’s see…

And they do! Damn Germans. Oh, just learned that the plates are in fact called “stones.” With that shot, the announcer said that the USA has officially lost. And he must be right because they are shaking hands. Germany wins 7-5.

Oh well, at least we still have World War II.

That’s it… I want to get a recreational curling game going sometime soon… who’s in?

Hockey starts in about 10 mins… USA vs. Switzerland. I read in the newspaper today that we have an 8-1 chance of winning the gold, behind Canada, Russia, and Sweden. Who knows, maybe they’ll pull off another miracle on ice.

USA! USA! USA!

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