Well everybody, we did it.
Actually, fuck that. I did it. What the hell did you guys do?
Nah I’m just messing. I would like to dedicate this milestone work of bloggery to all of my loyal readers out there. Because without you, the Weinblog holds no weight. It would just be like every other hopeless blog out there. But not this one.
This one goes out to Adam, Melissa, Daniel, Gregg and anyone else that checks my blog on a daily basis. You are all my heroes.
So, it’s been a long six months or so since I started my blog. Let’s recap everything that has happened since that time, and why it was my blog that helped accomplish it.
1) The calendar turned from 2009 to 2010. I’d like to say I had something to do with that. What else would be the point of our existence if my blog wasn’t out there for everyone to read? What would be the point of going onto a new year?
2) Avatar broke the all-time record for box-office gross. Now this was undoubtedly my doing. After all the promoting that I have done on my blog for that movie, there’s no way it would have been half as successful had I not talked about it as much as I have.
3) Some volcano in Iceland exploded. I’ll take the blame for this one. Since my blog started there had been too much goodness in the world that you knew something bad had to happen to compensate. That was Mother Nature’s way of telling me to take it easy and stop being so brilliant.
4) Kesha took over the music scene with such hits as “Tik Tok” and “Your Love is My Drug.” Alright, I really had nothing to do with this, but it is a significant world event that had to be mentioned.
5) Obama passed the new healthcare bill. Or at least congress did. I happen to know that barrack is a daily reader of my blog, and after seeing such eloquence that exists in this world in the form of my prose, he just knew that healthcare for all was a must.
6) I’ve gotten very minimal action from the opposite gender, and somehow I think that and my blog are intertwined.
7) I’ve added 20 pounds of muscle. OK, the last two are more on a personal note, but still noteworthy. And I embellished a little on one of them; I’ll let you guess which one.
8) Facebook has gotten extraordinarily worse, people have become bigger morons, and Twitter is taking over the world. BUT, I am doing everything I can to counteract that. Hopefully through my written words people will see the light and stop being so fucking retarded.
I really don’t want any of the credit for those things. I know I what I did, I know I’m awesome, but I don’t need to constantly hear how I singlehandedly make the world a better place. It just gets redundant, and it’s unfair to all the nobodies out there that never get any credit (and deservingly so.)
For all you hopeful bloggers out there, I urge you to go for your dreams, and that one day you may become half as successful as me, and live the life that you always dreamed of. Just use me as your inspiration. I was a nobody like you once, but now I am the greatest of all time.
HERE’S TO A HUNDRED MORE!