So I went on a job interview today. I rode up to the building in the batmobile, stormed through the office doors and yelled:
“I’m here to fuck shit up.”
Alright, maybe not. But I did sweat a lot. Kind of the same thing. Overall I thought it went just as well it could possibly go, and certainly better than this:
Alright so if I were to get this job – and I will find out tomorrow hopefully – it will be my first ever full-time job. So this will certainly be a life-altering experience. Just like how I learned to use a toilet bowl (last month).
Let’s discuss the pros and cons of having a full-time job, shall we? Why am I even asking? You have no say! HAHAHAHA (stops laughing when he realizes everybody probably just Xed out his blog after that statement.)
Pro: I will have money.
Now, this is a pretty big deal. It’s essentially why we work in the first place. If it wasn’t for money, everyone would just do drugs and get drunk all the time. But seriously, It’ll be nice to actually be able to afford more than just paying for beer and gasoline, which is all I am doing now… minus the gasoline.
Cons: I have to wake up early.
Now this is a devastating blow. I am NOT a morning person. If I wake up before 12:00, that in itself is an accomplishment. It will suck, no question. I can’t go to bed extra late anymore, and I have to actually set an alarm clock. Alarm clocks are my least favorite things in the world. Except for maybe the Snuggie.
Pro: The office building is only a 10 minute drive from my house.
Now this is a huge addendum to the previous con. Waking up early does suck, but it’s even worse when you have to commute far; like if you worked in the city. If I worked in Manhattan, and I had to be at work at 9, I would probably have to take a train at around 7:45 at the latest. Which means I’d have to wake up around 6:45 each day. Now that would be… miserable. But since the office is so close to me, I only would have to wake up at about 8, giving me 45 minutes to shower and eat breakfast. I could live with that.
Cons: I have to… work.
I will be getting paid to do a service, meaning that I must actually perform that service and earn my money. If I fail to do my job efficiently, I’m sure there are hundreds, or even thousands of other peeps that would be willing to do it instead. We are in a recession after all, AMIRITE ? AMIRITE FOLKS?
Pros: I will have a feeling of self-worth.
This one is quite underrated. While I love spending a whole day doing absolutely nothing more than anyone, it can be a little depressing. Meanwhile, after working a full day, you can at least lay your head down on your pillow at the end of the night knowing that you actually accomplished something.
Con: I will not have as much free time.
This is the age-old dilemma. When you don’t have a job, you have all the time in the world but no money to party. When you do have a job, you have the money… but no time. The main things that I still must find time to do on a daily basis: exercise… and BLOG. You may have been wondering what getting a full-time job might mean for the Weinblog… but if anything, I figure it will give me more to talk about. I also will not have time to watch movies leisurely, which will be a shame. But maybe I can watch them at work. I’m sure my boss will appreciate that.
Pro: I will meet new people that aren’t high-schoolers or 12 year olds.
My current freelancing job basically gives me a lot in common with a pedophile. While I have been able to get out and about, the main thing I cover is high school sports and little league games. With this job, I will finally be able to get to meet some new people that are about my age.
Con: I have to dress casually.
Now I’m not exactly sure how casual this place is, it’s definitely not required to wear a suit, and I’m pretty sure you don’t even have to wear dress pants. In fact I think a collared shirt, jeans and even sneakers might be acceptable. We’re writers – we don’t conform to corporation bullshit. So if that’d the case, then this con can actually turn into a pro.
Pro: I get to begin my life.
Kind of important, no? These are the stages of life: school, job, move out, get married, die. Finally, I get to begin that wonderful process. I may get a nice home-cooked meal every night courtesy of my pops, but it’s about time I got my shit together. The only thing that worries me about eventually moving out is that I will no longer have anything to stop me from becoming a full-blown alcoholic. But we’ll worry about that when we get there. Oh and speaking of which… one last pro: If I do get the job, I won’t start until the end of July… giving me another month of freedom. One month drinking binge, anyone?
And that’s that. When it’s all said and done, I think it’s safe to say that the pros outweigh the cons. BUT… it still remains to be seen if I get the job.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!