Can We Pretend That Airplanes in the Night Sky are Like Shooting Stars?

No, you can’t. So shut the hell up.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of that song. I’ve also had enough of people quoting it in their facebook statuses.

We get it, you need a wish. ENOUGH.

The thing that pisses me off the most about the song is that the ‘Airplanes part 2” version of the song featuring Eminem is one million times better. Not a hundred times better, not a thousand times better… a million. Every time I hear the radio version I just get so annoyed and plug in my ipod to play the better version. Why isn’t that the popular one?!

And no, you can’t pretend that airplanes are shooting stars. But, let me make you aware of something: do you know what you can pretend are shooting stars?

How about ACTUAL shooting stars?

It’s not like they’re that uncommon. And even if they aren’t, What about a normal, non-shooting star? It looks more like a shooting star than an airplane does.

Here’s what a shooting star looks like:

Here’s what a normal star looks like:

Now here is what retards confuse for shooting stars:

DURRRRRRRR

Hey, I got a new song lyrics for you! It goes like this: (to the tune of “Airplanes”)

Can we pretend that people on this planet had half a brain? I can really use a drink right now, drink right now…

It’s just simply impractical to pretend that a star is an airplane. A star is a giant ball of ionized gas, while an airplane is a aluminum winged aircraft with wings and a jet engine.

But… but… they’re both in the sky! Wow, so are pelicans. Are they shooting stars also? Come on everyone, you’re better than that.

So as for the new job. Today, looking to impress, I woke up before 8am and got into the office at 9:15… to find practically no one there. So not only did I not impress anyone by showing up early, but I woke up much earlier than I needed to, and looked like an idiot. Lesson learned. The less you try to impress people, the better off you are. It’s like having no goals in life; that way, you can’t never not reach them.

Tomorrow is the last day for the person I’m replacing, so that means that soon enough I’ll be all on my own. However, I did attend a press conference for the Attorney General and hopeful gubernatorial (don’t worry… I only learned today what that word means; it’s the adjective pertaining to ‘governor’) candidate Andrew Cuomo as he promoted his plan to limit property taxes increases to no more than 2% or the rate of inflation, whichever is lower (and again, don’t worry, I don’t know what that means either.)

So basically, the pressure is on me now. I have to prove to management that they made a good decision in deciding to hire me. So wish me good luck. Either by throwing a coin in a fountain or by four-leaf clover.

But, for the love of god, do NOT make a wish on a freaking airplane.

One thought on “Can We Pretend That Airplanes in the Night Sky are Like Shooting Stars?

  1. hahah well said but i live in toronto on a 38th apartment building condo and when looking outside i frequently see 9 – 10 airplanes in my field of vision all just blinking and moving across the vast sky … its just makes me wonder if the guy or girl who though up this song was thinking about it from where i stand … lol but anyway tired of this song and well said

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