Today, I’ve brought in a very special guest blogger. You may remember him from your childhood. He is none other than the infamous Stick Stickly, from Nick in the Afternoon.
Me: Stick Stickly, it’s great to see you! I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed watching you when I was a kid.
SS: Yeah, whatever.
Me: Seriously, you were one of my idols!
SS: Listen, I’m only here because I need the money.
Me: Money? I never said I was going to pay you anything…
SS: You’ve gotta be shitting me. I need to call my agent.
Me: What? Your agent? You have an agent? And how do you even use a cell phone? You don’t have arms!
Me: Ah. All makes sense now. Hey, can you sing your famous jingle for me? I would love that. And I think all my loyal readers would too!
Me: C’mon! It’ll be great!
SS: I vowed to never sing that song again.
Me: I’ll even help you out. “Write to me, Stick Stickly…” c’mon, you know the rest…
SS: Oh yeah! That one! I’ll sing it for you!
SS: Write to me, Stick Stickly, P.O. Box… Fuck you, you motherfucker.
Me: Woah, woah! What the hell was that?!
SS: I told you I’m not singing that fucking song.
Me: What’s wrong with you, Stickly? You used to be so jolly. So exuberant, so energetic!
SS: That’s only because I snorted an ounce of coke before each show.
Me: Oh. Well… that’s disturbing.
SS: Yeah, then those bastards at Nickelodeon made me check into rehab.
Me: Hmm, that actually makes sense. I was wondering why you’re your segment only lasted two years and ended so abruptly.
SS: They couldn’t handle the stick.
Me: Riiiight. I’m sure they couldn’t handle a five-inch tall popsicle stick.
SS: hey, I may look small on the surface. But I actually have an enormous pen-
Me: Ookkkkaaay. Didn’t need to know that.
SS: Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
Me: So what’re you up to these days Stickley? Are you still – hey! What the HELL are you doing? Are you snorting coke on my laptop?! Put that shit away!
SS: Oh, is that not cool?
Me: No! of course it’s not cool! And I thought you went to rehab.
SS: I never said it actually worked.
SS: hey, how about that Dora the Explorer that’s on Nickelodeon right now? She could totally get it!
Me: Okay, thanks man. That’s enough for you today. Thanks for stopping by!
SS: What?! I signed on for an hour!
Me: “Signed on” to what?!
SS: I’m still getting fully compensated, right?
Me: I told you, you’re not getting any money!
SS: You sonofabitch. You led me here under false pretenses. Now you’ll pay!
Me: Oh yeah? What the hell could a small stick possibly – ouch! What the hell?! Did you just give me a splinter?
SS: I warned you…
Me: Come here, you bastard.
SS: Hey! Put me down! Put me down! Someone call my agent! Call my –
Sorry about that folks. That was not exactly what I expected to happen.
Okay, so now that he’s gone…. I’d like to share a message with you all. As you all know, I hate facebook. But, every now and then someone will post a status that will make me momentarily forget my hatred. Today somebody posted this:
There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the pointless drama and people who create it, and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus on the good. Life is too short to be anything but happy.
Simple, perhaps even cliché, but the truth. You know people, it’s not mandatory for you to be friends with somebody if all they do is piss you off.
As for myself, I don’t have a dramatic bone in my body. I avoid drama at all costs. I like peace and tranquility.. But the way life works, you’re going to come across people that make you angry. And you know what, forget them. Life is better off without them.
Think about the people that make you happy to be around. Now imagine if all your friends were like that. Sounds pretty good, right?
Appreciate those people, and don’t let them go. Ever.