Going to the Knicks Game Tonight!

I’ve only been to one Knicks game in my life. It was several years ago and they actually beat the Dallas Mavericks in overtime. I’m going back to the Garden tonight and hoping to make it 2/2!

Oddly, it’s against another western conference team in the Portland Trail Blazers.

Plus I’ve never been to a home opener in any sport before. But at Madison Square Garden on Halloween eve? This is going to be insaaanity.

The plan is to start drinking at around 5, continue drinking whilst at the game, and then wander the city afterwards in our drunken stupor and observe everyone else’s costumes.

I don’t think I can possibly come away from this night without at least humorous anecdote. So, stay tuned for my next blog post, because I should have some good stories to tell. And hopefully I will also be detailing a solid Knicks victory.

Aight, just wanted to give you all that little teaser to keep you intrigued. Happy Halloween everyone!

Heartbreaking

Today, I’m going to write about a woman I love… who is no longer available. Although she had a boyfriend, she was not married, and thus, there was still a chance.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance to truly tell her how I feel.

And now it’s too late. An asshole took her away from me.

But, right now, I will use this blog as a means to express my true feelings. Who am I talking about, you ask?

Somebody really special. Somebody beautiful. Somebody close to my heart.

And most importantly, somebody who is with the wrong person.

Alright, here we go…

*deep breath*

……….

……….

……….

……….

……….

……….

Maria Sharapova got engaged earlier this week.

How could you?

Not only in this absolutely devastating news, but the story only gets worse.

She’s engaged to Sasha Vujacic. SASHA VUJACIC. A backup player for the Los Angeles Lakers. He doesn’t even start!

I truly thought that if Maria was ever going to tie the knot, it would be to some billionaire executive, or a model, or at least to a freaking STARTING basketball player. Not to some European scrub.

Apparently, Vujacic proposed to her on their one year anniversary… of the time that they first MET.

Seriously?!

They met one year ago, which means they didn’t even start dating a year ago. They’ve known each other for a year. That’s it. And now they’re engaged. I guess I feel a little more comfort now knowing that this relationship is obviously destined to fail.

The only question is when. And how I can somehow convince Maria that she is making a huge mistake.

Sasha fucking Vujacic.

I’m going to kill that little bitch.

“It’s was probably old school,” Vujacic said. “I had to do it like a gentlemen.”

That’s a quote from the ESPN article. But what does that even mean?! It was “probably” old school?! Were you not even there?? Did you send a representative to propose for you?

And you had to do it like a gentlemen? Ugh, what a chore! You HAD to propose to a beautiful millionaire tennis sensation… like a gentlemen! Oh no… the horror!

Next time I watch a Lakers game, I won’t be rooting for a team to win… I’ll be rooting for Sasha Vujacic to dislocate both of his ankles.

It’s truly a sad day for America when Sasha Vujacic is able to claim one of the world’s most eligible bachelorette. He shouldn’t even be allowed to claim his own luggage at an airport, let alone a woman like Maria Sharapova.

Heartbreaking.

Sports!

With the world series beginning tonight, basketball and hockey just getting underway, and football getting into the thick of things… the heart of sports season is here.

Now that I work, I appreciate sports even more. After working all day and then hitting the gym, I just want to collapse in front of the television and be entertained.

I actually yell out loud to my television: “Athletes, entertain me. Go!”

And they do.

Basketball is an exciting sport to watch because it requires the most athleticism. You need to be able to leap high, run fast, and use your strength to your advantage. And people wonder why white people are slowly being phased out of the game?!

You know what I don’t understand? How there are males that exist in this world that don’t like sports. How is that possible?

It is our duty, as men, to watch sports. It’s something we have that girls don’t know jack shit about. And the best part is, girls accept it.

If you tell your girlfriend you can’t spend time with her on Sunday because you have to watch the football game, she’ll understand. She won’t be happy about it, I’m sure, but she knows that it’s what we do. And she’s free to go to the mall or go eat brunch with one of her slut friends.

But if you’re a male, and you don’t watch sports… and you’re more into say, video games… then your girlfriend probably wouldn’t be as accommodating to let you ignore her for that. Actually, scratch that, if video games are your true passion in life, then you don’t have a girlfriend anyway. So… it’s pretty irrelevant.

Seriously, though, men were meant to watch sports. And not just watch them, but obsess over them. And have stupid arguments with your friends about them. And to make fun of other people when their team fails. And then partake in fantasy leagues and proceed to obsess over those.

I mean, I guess it’s not your fault if you don’t like sports… it’s just the way you are. But I feel bad for you if that’s the case. Because you are severely missing out.

I don’t know if everyone saw this, but Nike put out a new ad for Lebron James:

As much as I hate to admit it, this commercial makes me hate Lebron James less. Dammit. I want to hate the guy so badly after the embarrassing spectacle he put on this past summer, but damn. That commercial is awesome. You have to give props to whoever is in charge of the advertising at Nike, because time and time again, they put out awesome commercials.

Alright, I’m tired. I’m going to go back to lying down and watching sports. But here’s a picture of a sea otter to momentarily distract you from how mediocre this particular blog was:

Date Night

I don’t think there are two words that you can pair together in the English language that annoy me more than this phrase:

Date night.

If anyone I ever know tells me that they can’t hang out because they are having a “date night,” may god have mercy on their soul.

And if it’s a male that says it, well, you might as well hand in any trace of masculinity you have left.

What does a date night consist of? Making a summer salad, drinking some wine, lighting candles and watching Confessions of a Shopaholic while cuddling under a blanket?

And why are date nights necessary? It’s not a date, because dates are for people that aren’t yet a couple. Date nights are for people in a relationship, which means, they see each other all the time. “Oh, but… but… I only see him 10 hours a day! That’s not enough!” YOU MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT.

There’s nothing worse than a couple that is perfectly content spending their Friday or Saturday night having a date night.

From this point forward, if anybody tells me that they are having a date night, they are banned for four days from socializing with me. Second time offenders will receive a weeklong ban. Anything after that will be handled on a case-by-case basis.

It’s for your own good. Trust me. This is what happens during a date night:

8:00 p.m.

Awesome guy: Yo man, you coming out tonight? We’re all hitting the town!

Loser: Nah man, it’s date night with the girl.

Awesome guy: Just listening to you utter that sentence makes me feel gayer for knowing you by association.

10:00 p.m.

(at the bar)

Awesome guy: Let’s get shots! I’m buying first round!

Awesome guy’s friend: Nice! By the way, where’s Loser?

Awesome guy: He’s having a date night.

Awesome guy’s friend: (drops shot glass) That’s infuriating.

(meanwhile, back at the apartment…)

Loser: (while holding a salad) Alright, ready to watch the movie?

Loser’s Girlfriend: Actually, I’d rather talk first. About life. And love.

Loser: Oh…

12 a.m.

(at the bar)

Awesome guy: Let’s get more drinks!

Awesome guy’s friend: Great idea! I’ll buy.

Bartender: No need for that. You guys look like you’re all awesome. You drink for free tonight!

Awesome guy: This is amazing.

(at the apartment)

Loser’s Girlfriend: …and that is what I’m feeling. Were you listening?

Loser: (wakes up) What? Oh… yeah, of course I was. Now can we start watchi-

Loser’s Girlfriend: And here is what else has been going through my head lately…

Loser: Oh god.

2 a.m.

(at the bar)

Awesome guy: (holding a bottle of liquor while dancing at the club surrounding by beautiful girls and wearing a ridiculous hat and sunglasses that he somehow acquired at some point) This is the BEST NIGHT EVER!

(at the apartment, Confessions of a Shopaholic is just finishing)

Loser: (While thinking in his head how awful that movie was) Well, it’s over. You want to go to the bedroom now and… you know…

Loser’s Girlfriend: Nah, I’m tired. But this was a lovely evening. Good night hun! (goes to bed)

Loser: I wonder what the guys did tonight… probably nothing interesting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obviously, this topic affects me.

Just… don’t do it.

Halloween

Halloween is less than a week away.

I have very mixed feelings on this holiday. For one, I like observing people’s creativity when it comes to their costumes. I, for one, like to be creative with as little effort as possible.

For example, last year I was Facebook. I taped a dry erase board to my shirt and pasted the Facebook logo to the top of it. Then I wrote “David is…” and allowed people to constantly write on it throughout the night. It was a very popular costume and I received a lot of compliments. Plus it took me five minutes to make.

I also like it when girls dress slutty. I don’t need to elaborate on this.

Normally, however, I’m too lazy to create a costume. I applaud people who actually put forth the time and effort to do it. That being said, there’s nothing worse than putting a lot of time into making a costume, and then having nobody recognize who or what you are. Two years ago I tried to dress like Frodo from Lord of the Rings, and nobody knew who I was, even though I thought I did a decent job with the wardrobe (the one drawback was that I couldn’t find a wig.) Although, there was one person who did identify me as a hobbit, so that was close enough.

But, there are things I don’t like about this holiday. For one thing, any bar you go to on Halloween is going to be packed. That annoys me deeply. I remember when I was at school in Binghamton, Halloween was possibly the biggest party night of the year. Everybody went out on Halloween, and in result, the bars were too overcrowded.

Last year, I went to New York City for Halloween for the first time. Pretty big mistake. You really won’t be able to find a bar that doesn’t charge at least a $20 cover. And then there are the $8 beers. Awesome.

Although, I did have fun in New York City simply just walking around and observing the thousands of people parading the street in costumes. That was probably the best part about it. I really didn’t even need to go into a bar. The streets were packed, and the police were all standing around pretty much just ensuring that a riot didn’t break out. There were so many people around that there was just no possible way they could have kept everybody off the streets, so they didn’t even bother.

What’s also amusing is that every year, things happen in the world that warrant popular costume ideas.

For example, after the Olympics a few years ago, I saw several people dress up as Michael Phelps. After the Dark Knight came out, a lot of people were the Joker. Last year, Michael Jackson was a popular choice, etc.

What will it be this year?

I, for one, nominate this guy:

THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH.

Unfortunately, as a white, I don’t think I can pull this off. But hopefully I will see somebody over the weekend with that costume. I have to.

You know what I miss about this holiday? Trick or treating. Talk about an awesome fucking day. Wandering the neighborhood with your buddies – under parental supervision, of course! – and checking out all of the houses and the cool things that they’ve done to celebrate the holiday. Oh, and they give you candy. I used to go home and sort out all my candy before eating it. I was weird.

It’s kind of a foolish thing to do, though, when you really think about it. Who knows what weirdos live in your neighborhood… and you’re just voluntarily going up to their door? And on top of all that, you’re actually consuming whatever it is they give to you? Why, for one day a year, does our country suddenly become so trustworthy?!

Try giving candy to little kids any other day of the year, and see what type of reaction you’ll get then! Not that I would know…

Another cool thing about the holiday is all the Halloween-themed TV shows. I loved it when I was a kid, and all my favorite shows would have a scary Halloween episode. I don’t really watch many TV shows anymore, but just the knowledge that it will be happening is still cool.

I’ve never gone pumpkin picking in my life. It seems kind of effeminate, if you ask me.

And last but certainly not least… ghost stories. This Halloween, I’d totally be down for going into the middle of the woods, starting a fire, shining a flashlight and telling ghost stories, Are You Afraid of the Dark style! Who’s with me?!

Haha, remember this guy from the show:

What a nerd. I wonder what he’s doing right now? I bet he still sits outside of campfires trying to relive his glory days, muttering ghost stories to himself. While inhaling paint thinner. In the nude.

Sounds like my Friday night!

Hmm….

Oh, speaking of sitting naked around campfires, I’d like to wish a very happy birthday to Gregg!

Peace.

Milestone

Wow, what a glorious weekend.

If you’re a Mets fan, as I am, it hasn’t been a very good past few years. Last year in particular was an absolute disaster. The Mets were never competitive, and the world series was a battle between our two most hated teams:: The Yankees and the Phillies. It was a nightmare.

And if you asked me about 10 days ago… I would have said that it was destined to happen again. That’s just the way it is. For Mets fans, there is only one way of life: what can go wrong, will go wrong.

But then… something happened. The clouds shifted, the sun peaked through, and the heavens shined down on Mets fans. For the first time in about four years, things went right.

Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Howard both looking at strike three to end the championship series? Are you kidding me? I couldn’t have drawn it up any better if I wrote the script myself.

Man, I could watch that for hours. Call me naive, but I consider this a turning point. I feel that the dark days are behind us, and that things are going to start going right for the Mets very soon. Lets’ hope.

And that’s not the only great thing to happen this weekend.

Almost exactly five months ago, I celebrated my 100th blog post. Well, today, we celebrate again. This blog that you are reading right now… is #200.

God damn, if you told me exactly 310 days ago when I started this blog that I would eventually reach 200 blogs, I don’t think I would have believed you. Of course, I didn’t start this blog with the intention for it to fail, but still. The part that I am most surprised with is how consistent I’ve stayed with it, and also, how much I’ve actually enjoyed blogging.

It’s even become ingrained in my head as my part of my daily schedule. I think internally: “Wake up, shower, go to work, come home, exercise, watch TV, eat dinner, blog, vacuum my crystal meth lab, sleep.”

Of course, it never would have been accomplished without my loyal followers. It was your encouragement in the beginning that kept me going. Otherwise, I’d have just assumed that nobody was reading and that it was becoming a pointless endeavor.

Amazingly, I think this blog has actually made me smarter. It motivates me to keep up with the news, and it’s made me think more critically and become more observant about the world. Throughout the course of a day, I’ll find myself actually having at least one “hey, now that’s something good I can blog about later!” moment. Whereas, in the past (pre-blog era as I like to call it), I’d have just ignored whatever it was and went about my day in my usual haze.

And I think my blogging has improved throughout these past several months. I’ve written scripts, stories, articles, and even poetry before (they were dark days… don’t judge me), and blogging is completely different. It’s almost like a different language. And thank God I was able to attain a job and make my life more interesting, because I definitely was running out of things to talk about when my life just consisted of sleeping, eating, and watching TV.

So, again, thank you everybody for reading. Having a blog is almost like having an imaginary friend to talk to, except in this case, you’re only slightly considered a loser.

I ended my 100th blog by saying “Here’s to a hundred more!” Well, shit, here’s to another hundred! And here’s to hoping that the hot Russian waitress who waited on me during dinner on Saturday and whom I gave my business card to actually Facebooks me.

THE YANKEES LOSE, THEEEEEEEEE YANKEES LOOOOSEEE!!!

Am I a bitter Mets fan? Yup. Sure. Those words are synonymous.

Before the existence of Facebook, I could live with the Yankees winning. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but whatever.

However, I can’t stand all of these assholes that suddenly become die-hard Yankee lovers during the postseason. I’VE WATCHED MORE YANKEES GAME THAN THEM THROUGHOUT THE FUCKING YEAR, AND I HATE THE TEAM.

I mean, sure, if you’re from New York, it’s cool if you want to support them. I have no problem with that. But to start posting it on Facebook as if to prove that you are “legit,” is just fucking ridiculous.

Sorry, I’m getting emotional, but words cannot express how happy this Yankees loss makes me.

Inevitably, any Yankees taunting results in Mets bashing.

Only one thing pisses me off more than bandwagon Yankees fans suddenly becoming die-hards during the playoffs, and that is bandwagon Yankee fans insulting the Mets.

For somebody that knows as much as about baseball as I do, and for somebody that has only missed about 5% of Mets games for the past fifteen years, and for somebody that is currently wearing Mets pajamas pants at this very moment, it is flat-out insulting. Not because I’m offended that my team sucks – I know they do, that’s a certainty – but because of the source.

I told a friend the other day that a hearing a bandwagon Yankees fan insulting the Mets is equivalent to what it must have felt like for a white property owner during the early 1800s to be insulted by their slave. (Note: slavery is the darkest mark in the history of human existence and an absolute disgrace to humanity… I am simply just making a comparison to how drastic this situation is.) That’s how much it bothers me. Unfortunately, In this case, whipping them back in retaliation is not legal (and rightfully so!)

If you want to decipher the real Yankee fans from the shitty-ass bandwagon fans, just look at Facebook. The ones taking the high road and complimenting Texas for simply being a better team and playing a better series are the real ones. The ones that go straight to attacking the Mets… they’re the worst.

And that’s why I fucking love when the Yankees fail. Because as a life-long TRUE Mets fan, I’ve had to deal with all this Yankees bullshit my entire life.

Watching the “faithful” Yankees fans flood out of the stadium in droves for two consecutive nights during the ninth inning was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

To the real Yankees fans: I personally apologize for all the Mets fans’ berating that you have had to put up with over the past 12 hours. It’s not directed towards you.

To the bandwagon Yankee fans, you know, the ones that don’t even actually care that the Yankees lost, because they’re not real-enough fans to have invested any type of emotion in them to begin with: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU

Forever Young

For work today, I went down to a camp in Merrick that recently underwent some major renovations. At first, I was thinking, alright… new nets on the basketball hoops. Or a new slide. Yeah… not really.

Firstly, the camp is enormous. It’s all fenced in, so you can’t see much from the outside. There are about eight facilities within the camp, all of them huge. One of them has an indoor soccer field inside that has heating for the winter and air-conditioning for the summer. Oh, and underneath the field there is a hardwood basketball court.

Outside, there are two other giant fields that you could play soccer and baseball on, and both are made of turf. They legitimately look like professional fields. The lights were set up by the same company that set up the lights at Citifield, and there are also four giant towers that shoot water 150 feet onto the field to help maintain the turf.

And of course, there are also giant playgrounds, an indoor movie theater, three giant pools (one of them is bigger than an Olympic-size pool) and basically anything else you’d ever expect to see at a camp.

As I was walking along and observing all of this, I couldn’t help but become nostalgic. I started thinking about all the amazing times I had at camp during my childhood. I didn’t go to this camp, but another local camp. Not quite as extravagant, but a great time nonetheless. I also went to a sleep away baseball camp for three years at CW Post.

The times I spent at camp were easily some of the best times of my life. I have nothing but fond memories. Even the time I was sexually abused in the locker room that one day in a good old-fashioned hazing session was pretty cool.

OBVIOUSLY I’M NOT BEING SERIOUS. HAZING IS NOT A JOKE. NOR IS RAPE.

Why is camp so awesome? Because at the time, you’re young and you don’t give a shit about anything but having fun with all your friends. You’re not thinking about work, paying for gas, student loans, rent, etc. Those things don’t even exist when you’re a child. The world is one giant playground. I’ll never forget waking up early on Saturday morning to sit in front of the television and watch cartoons in my pajamas. I’d do anything to go back in time and just spend one hour doing that… one last time.

I think one of the saddest things in life is the realization that camp won’t be fun for you anymore. Not that you still couldn’t have an enjoyable time, but it’s not the same as it would be when you’re a child. It’s the loss of innocence. I remember the year that I stopped going to camp, and the saddest part is that I was fine with it. I knew I was too old for camp. This was around the same time that Christmas started to lose its appeal. Man, what a shitty time.

And I’m only 23 years old. I know that anyone their 30s or 40s that is listening to me complain about life is probably laughing. I know it’s only going to get worse.

I’m not saying that I have conceded having fun, if anything, I’m motivated to have as much fun as possible while I still can. That being said, if you’re still around my age, don’t ever “come to grips” with anything. Don’t ever assume that the fun in life is gone. Because if you ever do that, then it really will be gone.

We have the rest of our lives to be dull and boring, might as well live it up while we still can.

Speaking of living it up while we still can… you’ll always hear people say that you should wait as long as you can to get married, because once you do, then your life is really over. Some people might say that getting married in your twenties is too young, and that getting married in your teens is insane. But what about… when you’re 5?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39773393/ns/world_news-mideastn_africa/

A three-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy in Syria have become engaged, according to local reports Thursday.

The United Arab Emirates-based Gulf News quoted the boy’s father as saying that he had purchased the young couple rings.

The boy, who was identified only as Khalid, “fell in love” with Hala during a family trip to a seaside town, his father said.

WHAT. THE. HELL?!?!?!

And I don’t even blame the children in this case. Blame the freaking parents for actually encouraging it. It could be a joke amongst kids that age to say they’re “married” and even get each other fake rings. But for the parents to actually go along with it FOR REAL and then have no problem reporting it to the media… well, let’s just say that they kind of suck at life. And their kids are going to be fucked up as a result.

Damn, when I was five, I didn’t even know what a girl was. Meanwhile this kid, he’s five, and he gets more play than I do now.

How can you know which girl you want to marry when you’re only five years old? He’s probably only seen like twenty different girls in his life. And his fiancée, who’s a ripe age of three, probably doesn’t even have a personality yet. Can three year-olds even talk yet? Oh, they can? Well, either way, who knows what she is going to turn out to be. Maybe she’s going to grow up to be an axe-murderer….or a racist.

Hmm, I wonder if she has a sister?

The Rent is Too Damn High

Throughout my life, I’ve never really cared about politics. Not only have I never voted for any electoral race, but I’ve never even registered before.

It’s pretty crazy considering my job actually requires me to be in the know when it comes to politics.

It’s just not something that interests me. I know it is important, and I try to keep up to date with the on-goings of our beloved country. But, I just have no passion for it. Nothing that happens politically will ever make me overly excited, and nothing involving politics will ever make me overly sad.

Now that I am older, I’m slightly more interested in politics considering that it affects me more. But, in the end, I still really don’t care. I don’t care who our president is, I don’t care who what their views are, and I don’t care what legislation they are trying to push on us. Politics, to put it simply, bores me.

However, that may have all changed the other night.

Did you just hear that noise?

That was the sound of me exiting my house, getting in my car, driving recklessly to the voter…registration…bureau…place and registering to vote, just so I can vote for Jimmy McMillan in this year’s gubernatorial race.

This man is a hero. Just look at how passionate he is when he speaks. He cares.

And his party name. Oh my. “The Rent is Too Damn High.”

How is that even legal? Regardless, I don’t care. It’s super awesome. If Gwyneth Paltrow can name her kid “Apple,” Jimmy McMillan can certainly name his political party “The Rent is Too Damn High.”

I don’t know anything about this man, but I know that he needs to be the next governor of New York. The Weinblog© has never offered an endorsement before, but I am doing it right now. On November… whenever date the elections are… vote for Jimmy McMillan! And tell them that I sent you!

Why should we vote for anyone else? What does Andrew Cuomo have to offer? Let’s see, he’s only in the business because of his father, he has an uncanny ability to give answers without offending any groups, went to a highly regarded law school, he’s calm, doesn’t let emotions get the best of him, and he looks the part. Basically… he is any politician that there has ever been.

And look at where that has gotten us. Only the worst recession our country has ever seen since the Great Depression.

It is time for something new. Say it with me: The rent… is to damn high!

So if you’re like me, and you’ve always been indifferent towards politics, then support this man. Together, we can all beat the system!

It makes me laugh, though, that a guy is able to do this. I mean, democracy is a great thing, but seriously… in what other country would you ever see something like this? We try so hard to “spread Democracy” to other countries that haven’t bought into it yet. However, they inevitably are going to see video footage of this man, and do you really think that they are going to change their minds anytime soon?

Man, I love this country. We can basically do whatever the hell we want.

But seriously, you can say he’s a one-issue candidate, but… can he really fuck up our state any more than it is now? Property taxes are out the roof, and people aren’t even staying in new York anymore! Think of all the people you know that have moved out-of-state. Why are people leaving New York, one of the most illustrious cities in the world that’s supposed to offer endless opportunities!?

People should want to come to new York, not the other way around.

Any why is this the case? I’ll tell you why. Because the rent is too damn high yo.

The Smiley Face.

There’s something that girls do that’s been bothering me for a while now.

Speak.

No, I’m just kidding. But, alright, I see your Facebook statuses, and I try so hard not to pass judgment. I get it, you’re females, you have a lot of emotion, hormones, whatever. I can deal with that.

But… why must you end every single one of your statuses with a smiley face?!

“Dinner and a movie. Great night =) “

“Seeing so-and-so this weekend! =) “

“Sucking off some dude =) “

Woahhh, that last one was uncalled for. I don’t really see that one too often. But, again, I’m not even trying to mock; I just want to know why.

Is it supposed to make what you have to say look more important? (It doesn’t)

It is supposed to make people care more? (we don’t)

Is it intended to ward off the stereotype that all girls are bitches? (definitely not)

I just can’t stand it when girls try to come off as cheerful on the internet. Maybe it’s because when they write a Facebook status, they suddenly realize how pointless is it, so they probably think “Oh shit, better throw a smiley face in there!” Then another stupid girl who also loves smiley faces will respond with another dumb statement like “That’s great! Hope to see you soon =)” and then the original poster will respond “Yes, definitely! Let’s do lunch =)”

Reading conversations like that on Facebook actually make me die a little bit inside.

How far does this go? Can I write anything, and as long as I attach a smiley face to the end, it’s all good?

For example: “Hey, Long time no see! You’re ugly! =) “ And then maybe add a picture of a puppy to boot.

It is people like that who make Facebook a horrible place for the rest of us. I really need to start an anti-smiley face movement. Forget unemployment rates, property taxes, global warming, anti-Semitism and obesity…  this is CLEARLY a much bigger issue facing our country.

By the way, ladies, you know I love y’all, right?!

Believe it or not, I’m watching this Yankees game right now, and something managed to piss me off even more right now. Robinson Cano just hit a home run, and they just showed some douche Yankee fan in the crowd.

This picture represents everything I hate about Yankee fans. In fact, it may be the single most obnoxious picture I have ever laid eyes on. I normally don’t wish death upon people, but I would not mind if that guy fell on the tracks on his way home from the game tonight.

The douchebag expression on his face, the not fully backwards/sideways flat-brimmed cap, the fact that he’s giving the middle finger to nobody in particular, and to top it all off, he actually caught the baseball. Irreversible proof that there is no justice in this world. Hopefully that Livestrong bracelet on his left wrist somehow has a reverse effect and actually gives him cancer.

Oh yea… let’s go Rangers =)