Halloween is less than a week away.
I have very mixed feelings on this holiday. For one, I like observing people’s creativity when it comes to their costumes. I, for one, like to be creative with as little effort as possible.
For example, last year I was Facebook. I taped a dry erase board to my shirt and pasted the Facebook logo to the top of it. Then I wrote “David is…” and allowed people to constantly write on it throughout the night. It was a very popular costume and I received a lot of compliments. Plus it took me five minutes to make.
I also like it when girls dress slutty. I don’t need to elaborate on this.
Normally, however, I’m too lazy to create a costume. I applaud people who actually put forth the time and effort to do it. That being said, there’s nothing worse than putting a lot of time into making a costume, and then having nobody recognize who or what you are. Two years ago I tried to dress like Frodo from Lord of the Rings, and nobody knew who I was, even though I thought I did a decent job with the wardrobe (the one drawback was that I couldn’t find a wig.) Although, there was one person who did identify me as a hobbit, so that was close enough.
But, there are things I don’t like about this holiday. For one thing, any bar you go to on Halloween is going to be packed. That annoys me deeply. I remember when I was at school in Binghamton, Halloween was possibly the biggest party night of the year. Everybody went out on Halloween, and in result, the bars were too overcrowded.
Last year, I went to New York City for Halloween for the first time. Pretty big mistake. You really won’t be able to find a bar that doesn’t charge at least a $20 cover. And then there are the $8 beers. Awesome.
Although, I did have fun in New York City simply just walking around and observing the thousands of people parading the street in costumes. That was probably the best part about it. I really didn’t even need to go into a bar. The streets were packed, and the police were all standing around pretty much just ensuring that a riot didn’t break out. There were so many people around that there was just no possible way they could have kept everybody off the streets, so they didn’t even bother.
What’s also amusing is that every year, things happen in the world that warrant popular costume ideas.
For example, after the Olympics a few years ago, I saw several people dress up as Michael Phelps. After the Dark Knight came out, a lot of people were the Joker. Last year, Michael Jackson was a popular choice, etc.
What will it be this year?
I, for one, nominate this guy:
THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH.
Unfortunately, as a white, I don’t think I can pull this off. But hopefully I will see somebody over the weekend with that costume. I have to.
You know what I miss about this holiday? Trick or treating. Talk about an awesome fucking day. Wandering the neighborhood with your buddies – under parental supervision, of course! – and checking out all of the houses and the cool things that they’ve done to celebrate the holiday. Oh, and they give you candy. I used to go home and sort out all my candy before eating it. I was weird.
It’s kind of a foolish thing to do, though, when you really think about it. Who knows what weirdos live in your neighborhood… and you’re just voluntarily going up to their door? And on top of all that, you’re actually consuming whatever it is they give to you? Why, for one day a year, does our country suddenly become so trustworthy?!
Try giving candy to little kids any other day of the year, and see what type of reaction you’ll get then! Not that I would know…
Another cool thing about the holiday is all the Halloween-themed TV shows. I loved it when I was a kid, and all my favorite shows would have a scary Halloween episode. I don’t really watch many TV shows anymore, but just the knowledge that it will be happening is still cool.
I’ve never gone pumpkin picking in my life. It seems kind of effeminate, if you ask me.
And last but certainly not least… ghost stories. This Halloween, I’d totally be down for going into the middle of the woods, starting a fire, shining a flashlight and telling ghost stories, Are You Afraid of the Dark style! Who’s with me?!
Haha, remember this guy from the show:
What a nerd. I wonder what he’s doing right now? I bet he still sits outside of campfires trying to relive his glory days, muttering ghost stories to himself. While inhaling paint thinner. In the nude.
Sounds like my Friday night!
Oh, speaking of sitting naked around campfires, I’d like to wish a very happy birthday to Gregg!