I go to the gym all the time. This should come as no shock to anyone who has seen me and has observed my well sculpted body. Yeah…
Local gyms are great assets to take advantage of. They’re expensive, but, c’mon… let’s face it. If the gym was free, would you actually go? It’s when you throw down the big bucks and a portion of your hard-earned money that you actually feel the proper motivation to go regularly.
And when you work out regularly, it really uplifts everything. You feel good about yourself, first and foremost. Eventually, results will come as you look in the mirror and see a noticeable difference in your physique. (Side note: I wish I looked at myself in the mirror at all times like how I do when I’m at the gym.)
There are other circumstances that arise where you reap the benefits of working out. Take sports for example. You’ll have more endurance and more strength. As long as you got the talent, you can embarrass people. And that’s always fun.
Also, say you’re walking around at work. A girl is having trouble opening her bottle of water. She asks you to open it, and you do it effortlessly. She looks back at you impressively. You wink back, then walk away at the perfect moment. You’re in.
That has never happened to me.
However, like I said, the most important thing that working out does for you is instill self-confidence. And that goes a long way. Having self-confidence is easily noticeable too, and other people will respect you for it, especially the opposite sex. No one likes a self-esteem lacking little bitch that mopes around and acts like they’ve been given a raw deal in life.
So that’s all good. HOWEVER, there are some things about the gym that do annoy me. There are certain etiquettes and behaviors in gym culture that really tick me off. I know it’s a sweaty, disgusting place… but that doesn’t bother me. I don’t even bother to wipe off machines after I use them (except the treadmill), because no one else does. That’s why you immediately hit the shower when you get home.
But there are other things that annoy me…
– Wearing hoodies at the gym.
Is that supposed to be stylish? I wasn’t aware that I had to worry about looking sharp while I’m at the gym. Perhaps next time I’ll bust out my finest Abercrombie sweatshirt. Shit, screw that, I’ll go a step further and wear a tux. Then I’ll pass by someone in a hoodie and just go “psshhh.” Plus, it’s about 100 fucking degrees at the gym. It makes you look like an idiot.
– “Working in.”
No bro, you can’t work in with me. I’ll be done in 10 minutes, wait your goddamn turn. In fact, take five steps back. You’re too close to me. And turn around. Don’t even look at me. Good.
– People who hog the bench press.
Just like there are girls who go to the gym and just use the cardio equipment for a while, and then leave (and that’s perfectly fine – no one likes a girl with muscles), there are guys that go to the gym solely to use the bench press, and nothing else. This infuriates me greatly. I only use the bench press about once a week. I don’t do it to look tough, but because I need to work out my chest on occasion. However, the one time a week I want to use it, there is some motherfucker that just sits at it and uses it up to 45 minutes at a time. I know it’s wrong, but secretly, I hope he drops it on his face. It’s easy to identify these guys, because they’re the ones that have enormous bellies to go with their enormous biceps. AKA, they have absolutely no clue how to work out.
– Old men who get naked in the locker room.
Do I really need to elaborate on this one?
– People that spend more time talking than actually working out.
When did the gym become a social hangout? When I’m at the gym, I want to get the hell out of there as fast as possible. And I also don’t want to overhear your stupid conversations that you are having right next to me. If you want talk, go out on a date. Then you can suck each other’s dicks too if you want. I don’t give a shit. Just don’t do it in front of me while I’m working out. It’s almost like there is a social hierarchy at the gym. You can tell who the top dog is. He’s the one wearing a hoodie and talking to others about his workout regimen, while he’s not actually working out.
These are people I never want to be in a room with, period. But there is nothing you could do about it. Shit, it’s the first letter in their “GTL” creed. Fortunately, I keep a low profile at the gym, so they don’t actually talk to me. I also avoid eye contact because just looking at them makes me feel like I’ll get skin cancer.
– People who use the treadmill right next to me.
I swear, today I was at the gym, and there were about 10 treadmills open in either direction, and some middle-aged, fat, sweaty slob chooses the treadmill directly to me. What the fuck? C’mon man, give me some space. You couldn’t at least choose the next treadmill over, so that there is one treadmill separating us? I need that buffer, man. It’s the same rule that applies for urinals in a bathroom. Guy code, bro. This does not apply, however, for girls. Which leads me to my next complaint.
– Incredibly sexy, fit girls that wear tight clothing that heavily accentuates their assets.
Yes, I’m aware that this sounds unbelievably gay, but, it’s just a distraction. I get stressed out enough because of girls as it is. I come to the gym to work out and impress you later, not while I’m there. Plus, I need to be focused, and not preoccupied by the fact that no matter what I could ever possibly say to you, you would still never fuck me.
That’s pretty much it. There’s a lot of good and a lot of bad that comes with the gym. However, I can safely conclude that the good outweighs the bad.
If you don’t belong to a gym, but want to, then I highly recommend that you do it. Just to be extremely wary of all the things I listed above.
Oh, and how can I forget! The single best part about going to the gym? You get to put “gym” in your away message for the entire world to see! There is NOTHING that makes you look cooler than that.