People Who Talk During Movies

I don’t go to movie theaters as much as I used to anymore, mainly because tickets are ridiculously expensive. It used to be like $5.50 to go to a movie, and now it’s around $13. Or if you’re seeing a movie in 3D, then forget it… that’s an additional five dollars.

It’s crazy.

The economy is in the shitter, but the movie industry is doing better than ever because they’re taking advantage of people who have been directly affected by the economy. Vicious cycle.

I select my movies carefully now. I only see a movie in theaters if it’s a film that I really want to see.

So, bearing that in mind, when I do decide to spend the $13 to $15 dollars to go to the movies, I expect an enjoyable movie experience. I expect the seats to be comfortable, the theater to be not too warm or not too cold, and for the rest of the audience to be respectful. However, that’s just wishful thinking. Especially the last one.

Never, in a million years, will I be able to fathom why people attend a movie and talk throughout the entirety of the film.

First of all, like I stated previously, movies are expensive. I don’t pay $15 to hear people commenting or having a conversation with their friends. Secondly, they paid the same amount of money as me. Did they really just dish out that much cash to go to a movie and not pay attention?! Not only is that a stupid financial decision, but it’s unbelievably disrespectful to the people around you.

Cool… so not only are you very annoying, but you’re also inconsiderate and extremely rude. Congratulations, you are three kinds of asshole.

I can’t even begin to explain how angry this makes me.

Now, I figure most of my readers are civilized, mature individuals who observe a film silently when they decide to frequent the movie theater. I applaud you. You may also be wondering, just as I am, why people do actually decide to waste their money and talk throughout the duration of the film. Well, lucky for you, I have some theories:

a)      Normally the retard is with friends, and is trying to amuse his comrades by making comments during serious moments of the movie. His comrades, being equally retarded, will laugh every time.

b)      The retard will think he’s “too cool” to be in this specific movie, and will pretend like he is above everybody else by not taking it seriously.

c)       Usually the retard is uneducated, and thus probably doesn’t even understand the movie. Instead of trying to understand it, he will make jokes about it as a defense mechanism.

d)      The retard is probably a pussy, and doesn’t expect anyone to talk back to him. If somebody actually confronted him, he would cower in fear.

Unfortunately, I am equally as big of a pussy, and don’t ever say anything, no matter how angry I am getting. Normally, I’ll just give dirty looks in the direction of the perpetrator, and silently hope that they’ll either choke on a piece of popcorn, or that somebody else will tell them to shut up.

All I know is that these people are just as enjoyable as a piece of gum that is stuck to the bottom of my shoe. It is my desire to one day purchase an extra-large coke, just so I can stand up and pour the entire contents of it on the head of one of these people.

As soon as the movie ends, and they turn on the lights, I need to look directly into the face of the asshole that just made my life a living Hell for the past hour and a half. I need to know what this mothafucka looks like. And I need an actual image to direct my hatred towards, as opposed to a darkened, anonymous, face (because the theater is dark – not because he’s black, you racist.)

I am normally a peaceful person, but I wish nothing but terrible things upon people who talk during movies. If you’re that disrespectful to so many people who actually spent their hard-earned money to have an enjoyable moviegoing experience, I can’t even imagine what other shitty things you do. Do us all a favor, and go die.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Oh, and before I go, I should acknowledge that North Korea opened fire on South Korea earlier today, and that the world is on the brink of global war. However, I decided that people talking during movies is a much bigger issue.

One thought on “People Who Talk During Movies

  1. You’re right,even if you don’t agree with their overall message.

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