What is the Most Effective Way to Pick up Girls at the Mall?

Believe it or not, I braved Roosevelt Field today. I guess it’s my own fault for waiting until the last minute to do Christmas shopping.

I went at around 3:30, because I knew anytime after 5 would be chaotic.

It wasn’t THAT bad. Obviously there was a little bit of traffic getting to the mall, there was a lot of people inside the mall, and long lines at practically every store. but after an hour, I managed to find what I needed and get out before rush hour hit.

I was expecting to see a lot of douchebags and assholes while I was there, and they were probably were there,  but I didn’t notice. I didn’t notice because I was distracted by all the hot chicks that were at the mall today.


Is that normal? Or is it just a seasonal thing? I don’t go to the mall that seldom that I wouldn’t have noticed it before. I mean, sure, there are thousands and thousands of people at Roosevelt Field at any given time, so basic logic says there will be plenty of attractive girls there. But I felt like today was abnormal. Like the average girl that I saw today was an 8.

It could just be that I am sexually repressed at the moment and I am overrating every girl, but there were some chicks I saw that forced me to do a double take. I even followed one up the escalator. Had she known, I’m sure she would have been extremely creeped out.

The problem is: I can’t think of a worse place to meet girls than at the mall. Nobody goes to the mall to seek romance. They have a single purpose while at the mall, and that one purpose is the only thing on their mind. Anything else is an inconvenience.

It just seems like such a waste. So many attractive specimens in one place and no opportunity to court them. There must be a way. There just has to!

It’s just so stressful. So many good-looking women in this world and we’re living in a monogamous society. Not that it would make any difference in my case, anyway, but perhaps the proud people of Utah are on to something with their polygamous ways.

I really can’t think of any ways to go about this. Offer to carry their bags? “Accidentally” knock them over and then be extremely apologetic, hopefully leading to a conversation? Try to rob the mall and take them as my hostage?

Suggestions are certainly welcome. I may even have to go back to the mall again tomorrow. And the next day.

But in the meantime I need to work on my game yo.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s