Am I a Prophet?

Time and time again, things will occur that make me believe I have magical powers. Most of the time, it turns out that it is not the case. Alright, all of the time.

This time, I am wondering if I have prophetic abilities.

My initial inkling tells me, “No, David. You are not a prophet. You are just a normal human.”

However, on my blog last Tuesday, when I was discussing last week’s lunar eclipse, I mentioned how funny I find it when our society becomes overly infatuated with the weather. The example I gave… was a snowstorm.

My exact words were:

Why do people care? Why are people so infatuated with the weather and other astronomical events? Ooh, a snowstorm! Let’s talk about it!

Lo and behold, merely five days later, a snowstorm occurs. Coincidence? I think not. Sure, you say, I could have just looked up the weather reports and discovered that a snowstorm was coming. Technological improvements over the years have allowed us to predict the weather not only weeks, but months, in advance.

However, even the meteorologists were not aware of this impending storm. They knew that snow was coming, but did not know where. I think it was on Friday that the storm redirected itself our way. New York wasn’t supposed to get anything. And certainly nobody was predicting a Nor’easter.

So, the only real explanation is that I have special powers. I suppose it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, really.

The big question becomes — upon discovering that you have special powers — what do I do with these powers? Do I share them with the rest of the world and use them for the greater good? Or do I selfishly keep them to myself and use them to better my personal situation in any way possible?

The answer is very easy. Keep them to myself. Very simple choice. Didn’t even have to think about it.

I’m just curious as to what else I am capable of.

Ooh, Taylor Swift is in my bedroom! Let’s talk about it!

Ooh, my blog was featured on the front page of every single news outlet in the world! Let’s talk about it!

Ooh, Facebook doesn’t exist anymore! Let’s talk about it!

If one of those things comes true within the next five days, I will be very happy. Perhaps they are a little far-fetched, but how else will I know?

Or maybe I don’t have special powers. Perhaps this is God’s way of giving me the finger. I was harmlessly mocking the way people obsess over the weather, and sure enough, a snowstorm hits and every news channel is sending out reporters to stand like morons in the snow to interview people about how cold it is.

I guess I shouldn’t hate too much, it is those morons that give me all of my material.

Oh well. I will certainly keep you all updated as I continue the investigation on this matter.

In the meantime, I advise everybody to stay warm, and not to drive too fast on the roads. I’m curious as to what will happen if I wake up tomorrow and see that we’ve been hit with 12-14 inches of snow, as is predicted. I wonder whether I will have to go to work or not. It may actually be a genuine snow day. Now if THAT happens, there will be absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am a prophet (see my blog 12 days ago), and thus I will immediately commence a full-out cleaning of my room to prepare for Taylor swift’s arrival.

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