Why Do Girls Take Pride in Crying?

Disclaimer: I’m not going to even touch on the Jets. I’m terribly disappointed, I’ve been so for the past 24 hours, and it was one of the top five worst losses of my sporting career as a fan. So, I don’t want to talk about it. Additionally, for me, football season is over. The Super Bowl will not occur in my mind.

Alright, let’s get into today’s topic. You can file this one under the ever-growing “things that I’m not trying to criticize, but I’m just trying to understand” category.

When something puzzles for the first time, I take note. When I see it occur a second time, I begin to realize a trend. When it happens a third time, I blog about it.

Something I’ve noticed over the past several months is that females have absolutely no shame in revealing publicly when they cry. And I don’t mean over something serious, like a death of a family member, I mean over the most mundane things; like a television show, or an article they read over the Internet, or a Youtube video.

Why is this? I understand that females are a lot more emotional than males, and that they’re liable to break into tears at any moment, but why do they need to share it with the world?

Crying can be interpreted by some as a sign of weakness. Do girls not care about how they portray their mental fortitude? I mean, they must not if they’re willing to admit that an episode of “The Big Bang Theory” made them tear up.

Do you think you would ever see a guy post as his Facebook status: “Oh my God, that story about the lost puppy made me bawl my eyes out!” And I’m not even saying that it is unacceptable for guys to cry. That’s fine. But it’s just guy culture to never admit it. Because then everybody will think that you’re a pussy. And I doubt that girls would even be amused by it. While girls do like sensitive guys, crybabies are on a whole another level.

Conversely, do you think guys are amused when they see a girl post as her Facebook status that something stupid made her cry? That’s not exactly the best way to make other people obtain a high opinion of you.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with crying. In fact, it’s healthy to have nice long cry once in a while. We all do it. And then we stare at ourselves while crying in the mirror, which make us cry even harder. And then we’ll latch onto one phrase that sounds sad but really has no meaning, like “It’s not my fault!” And we’ll repeat that over and over again while crying our eyes out.

Okay, I stole that last bit from a Dane Cook sketch. And yes, I acknowledge that admitting I listen to and like Dane Cook may be equally as embarrassing as posting on Facebook that I started crying after watching an episode of “Home Improvement.”

Anyway, it’s just hard for me to understand why girls do this. The thing that really perplexes me is that not only are they not embarrassed to admit that they cry, but they’re actually proud of it! As if it is an accomplishment! Now how does that work?

I never cry. I can get emotional, but never to the point where actual water begins flowing from my eyeballs. Is that supposed to mean that I do not have a soul? Does it mean that people who cry often are more good-spirited and pure-hearted than I am? Fuck that. I am the ultimate protagonist in life.

Plus, doesn’t crying several times a day and having no problem admitting it cancel out almost two decades of feminist activism? Women like Susan B. Anthony, Eleanor Rooseveltn and Rosa Parks fought their entire lives to prove that women were equally as capable and mentally strong as men, and yet, they roll over in their graves every time a girl posts on Facebook that an episode of “Law and Order: SVU” made them cry. Do you think they cried at every little emotional thing? No, they were to busy gaining your freedom.

So, in conclusion, maybe next time your watching television, and something makes you cry, perhaps think about holding back a little? Don’t bother fighting back the tears, because that is just unhealthy, but maybe consider not posting it on Facebook. It’s just food for thought. But, again, fuck do I know.

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