The State of the Union

Before I begin, allow me to explain how humorous I find it when I scroll through people’s Facebook statuses in the morning and see them all complaining about the snow as if it’s their own personal problem that nobody else has to deal with.

For example, people post things like “I can’t believe I have to travel to work in the snow today.”

Yeah, and meanwhile, everyone else is traveling to work in a fucking tropical paradise. Everybody who lives in New York is experiencing the same exact problem that you are, but, okay, let’s just focus on informing the world on how it affects you.

It’s snow. It’s been happening since our planet was formed. Are you really going to complain about it? Additionally, we are directly in the middle of the winter. What the hell do you expect? 80 degrees and sunshine? Is this your first time ever in the east coast?

We all have to deal with it. Shut up.

I saw one status in particular that literally made me shake my head in frustration. It said “global warming my ass!”

Okay, first of all, this is global warming. Extreme temperatures and drastic climate changes are what global warming consists of. Secondly, global warming takes place over hundreds of years. Not one day. Extremely intelligent scientists have devoted their entire lives towards studying global warming. But, why don’t you — who has no knowledge of the subject whatsoever — discredit the whole notion in one single Facebook status. Hey, I guess global warming doesn’t exist now, because this kid said so! Thanks man!

So that is what annoyed me this morning. Be on the lookout for more people complaining about the snow tomorrow. Should be awesome.

Anyway, what I wanted to talk about is the State of the Union address. Obama gave it yesterday, but I didn’t mention it. You know why? Because I didn’t watch it.

*collective gasp from my readers*

I know what you’re thinking. How can I be so critical of our society and question so many things, and not even listen to the most important speech of the year where our own president addresses the current state of our great nation?

Well, I’ll tell you why. Because there’s no point. More people listen to the State of the Union address more than any other speech that Obama will give. So why the hell would he actually be honest with us, when being honest would just make us all angry?

Our nation currently faces a $14 trillion debt. I’m no politician, nor do I play one on TV, but… I don’t think that is too good. I can’t imagine any type of business or enterprise being in “good state” when they are in that big of a debt.

What do you think Obama is going to say?

“We are so fucked. We are so fucked that I can’t even believe it. I go to bed every night and I just start laughing because I think about how fucked we are. There is no hope. Good night. Obama, out.”

I’m not sure how much confidence that speech would inspire. So, instead, the president will choose to spew b.s. at us about how he plans to get us out of the recession without actually giving specific suggestions. He’ll do it eloquently, though. Not that I’m even criticizing, in fact, I think it is smart. It’s what I would do.

But that is why it is pointless to listen to.

I like Obama, too. I think he has done a fine job. Studies show that the recession has ended and that our economy is improving. Anybody that was actually expecting a drastic turnaround in the short four to eight years that Obama — or anyone that could have become president after Bush — is in the White House is delusional. These things take decades, and can’t be examined in a short time period — just like global warming!

Plus, nobody I know watched the State of the Union anyway. Most people were probably pissed that the speech interrupted their favorite television programs like Glee or Jersey Shore, you know, the intelligent shows.

But, who really cares about the state of the union anyway? Who cares about the recent economic recession? Who cares about the rest of the world? All that matters is how the snow is affecting people’s morning commutes. I’m sure I’ll find out all about it tomorrow morning. Can’t wait!

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