We’re at War?

So I spent the last two days in Philadelphia, and sometime while I was over there, our nation went to war.

The United States of America is at war. It’s not quite the Revolutionary War or World War I or World War II, but it’s still a pretty big deal when the country you live in declares war (although apparently it was the U.N. that declared it, not the U.S.)

Japan’s blowing up, the U.S. is at war, Rebecca Black exists… what is going on with the world?! Crazy stuff.

Who are you all rooting for? Personally, I hope the U.S. pulls it off. I have them going to the elite 8 in my bracket.

Yup, I’m the asshole that just made a joke about a current war. In all seriousness, God bless our troops. Get home safe and fast.

But, personally, I think we should just send Charlie Sheen over to Libya. He’s got tiger blood man, those Libyans won’t know what hit them!

Anyway, like I said, I was in Philadelphia this weekend. I always just assumed Philadelphia sucks because I hate Philadelphia sports fans with my heart. However, Philadelphia is a great place.

Essentially, it’s smaller, cheaper, cleaner, more vintage and just all-around nicer than New York City.

There’s a lot more history. Every bar is a small Irish pub. Beers cost three dollars. Cabs are cheap. Everything aspect of Philadelphia is a little bit better than New York City.

Although I was drunk about half of the time I was there, so I may have just hallucinated everything that I just said.

Personally, I love dive bars. I like old taverns that sell cheap beer, play good music and offer comfortable seating arrangements. Every bar in Philly had that. I was basically in Heaven.

By the way, it really is always sunny in Philadelphia. Every day I was there was beautiful. Not a cloud in the sky. And we also went to Mac’s Tavern at one point, a bar owned by the actor from the show! It was pretty cool. We also went to a bar that is supposedly one of the oldest bars in the county. So I felt a sense of nationalism in my drunkenness while in that establishment.

Also, March Madness is happening. So that was terrific entertainment that kept me captivated all throughout my 48-hour drinking binge.

I highly encourage everyone to go to Philadelphia at some point in their lives. Check out the liberty bell, or run up the steps of the art museum a la Rocky, or just go bar hopping through their wonderful Irish pubs. Or do them all! Oh, and of course, eat a Philly cheese steak while you’re there. Except that there they just call them cheese steaks.

I wish I could say more, and I probably will at some point, but this weekend drained me. I need a nice long [sober] sleep.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

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