A bowl of cornflakes goes a long way!

I usually don’t have breakfast in the mornings. Mostly because I’m too lazy. I’d rather sleep an extra fifteen minutes than wake up earlier and make myself something to eat.

However, I realized that when I don’t eat breakfast, I find myself starving by lunchtime. In result, I pig out and eat way much more than I should. Following the excess devouring of food, I return to my desk at work and fall into a food coma, and I feel like shit. It’s just a whole downward spiral of suck.

Today I decided that I would eat something in the morning. I went into the kitchen and peered into the cabinet, and I decided that the best option was Corn Flakes.

I’ve always been a fan of Corn Flakes. Some people say that they are bland, but they do have a distinct taste to it that one can enjoy. Sure, they’re not as delicious as Frosted Flakes, but they’re healthier. And healthier is good.

So I took a few minutes and poured myself a bowl. I considered for a few seconds adding a banana into the mix, but decided that it would be way too much effort. I added some milk, ate the flakes and then departed for work.

I got to tell you… the Corn Flakes did wonders. Come lunchtime, I wasn’t really hungry, but knew I should eat again, so I went with my co-workers to the deli and bought a salad. After eating the salad, I felt great.

All I had eaten on the day were healthy meals. I suffered no 2 p.m. crash and I felt energetic all day. I was consumed with natural energy that only comes with eating healthy and nutritionally. It really is amazing what a simple bowl of Corn Flakes could so.

Normally at around 2:00 I go get my afternoon coffee, but today I didn’t even need it. I still got it anyway, but I could have easily done without it.

I seriously felt like I could have accomplished anything today. For those that have seen the movie Limitless, Corn Flakes were like my NZT. All it took was a few bites, and suddenly I was remembering calculus equations in my head that I had learned six years ago. I suddenly knew how to speak French. I also could efficiently play the clarinet.

A bowl of Corn Flakes is truly a miracle meal. I will now officially start every day of my life with it. The cereal will set the tone for me on a daily basis, and my entire life from this point forward will now be changed. All because I ate Corn Flakes today.

Nothing else will suffice. Not Frosted Flakes, not Lucky Charms, not Cocoa Puffs, not Cookie Crisp… nothing. I could wake up to a food platter of eggs, bacon, pancakes, muffins, fresh fruit and orange juice sitting on a tray on my bed, and I wouldn’t even touch it.

Okay, that’s a lie. I would destroy that entire meal. Plus it’d be amazing to wake up to that sitting in front of you. I need a wife. That’s what they’re for, right?

THE GREATEST FOOD KNOWN TO MAN

I’m eating a piece of cake right now. Pretty much cancels out all the healthy food from today.

So, what’s going on in the world?

Apparently crazy shit is going on Syria. A 5-week uprising has resulted in Syria deploying their army and killing 25 people. The Middle East is an absolute disaster right now. But the average American probably thinks that Syria is a brand of maple syrup.

So, what’s going on in the Facebook world?

Well, since you asked… apparently one of my Facebook friends (who shall go unnamed) is fed up with all of the dumbasses her in life, and she is now “done with them.”

Bravo. Well done. Thanks for letting me know.

Who wants a random link? No one? Well, here’s one anyway!

Remember Mortal Kombat? Of course you do. Well apparently there is a new version out, and, well, I don’t know about you… but the new fatalities seem a little too overly violent for me…

New Mortal Kombat Fatalities

Just a tad excessive if you ask me. I’m not really one of those people who says that violent video games lead to violence in reality, because I think that if you’re that susceptible to pick something up from a mere video game, you would have picked it up somewhere else along the way anyway.

But, that being said, if I ever hear of a story where someone kills somebody by slashing their body in four directions with a sword, followed by ripping their heart out with their fists… I’ll probably think they got that from this game.

Congratulations to everybody for making it through Monday. This morning I definitely would have tore somebody’s heart out with my fist had they crossed me the wrong way, and that was before I even knew about this game! Yay violence!

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