I’mma Friend You on Facebook Bitch — An original song

I’mma friend you on Facebook bitch,
We gon’ be together like Lilo and Stitch,
I’mma search for you on Facebook bitch,
Like Harry Potter lookin’ for that snitch

Oh yeah
I see you girl, eyein’ me at the club
You with some guy, but it’s time for a sub
So I step in and say, girl let’s do that thang
I’m like Edward Cullen, minus the fangs
The night’s goin’ right, I’m feelin’ the flow
The way she looks at me, I’m in fo’ sho’
Like Lebron in the fourth, winnin’ with my jumper
Impress her so much she asks me for my number
But I laugh and say
Girl put that phone away
I don’t need your number cuz

I’mma friend you on Facebook bitch,
I’m the internet version of Will Smith in Hitch,
I’mma search for you on Facebook chick,
With my smartphone I can do it real quick

Oh yeah,
Get home that night, I’m drunk as hell
Forget going to sleep, I  go straight to my Dell
Don’t need to type the web address cuz I already know
Facebook’s on the screen from when I logged in befo’
Go to type in the search box, but then I exclaim,
Holy shit, what the hell was her name?
Was it Cindy, Sara, Nancy or Molly?
I can search her favorite movie: Along Came Polly
That doesn’t work, too many hits
I search for an hour before I call it quits
I guess it’s my own fault cuz

I said I’d friend you on Facebook bitch
You and I should have found our niche
We could’ve hit it off on Facebook, gal
It worked for Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail

Now I’m sitting here all alone
Playing with my iPhone
Installing new widgets
Damn I should’ve gotten her digits
Mark Zuckerberg is to blame
For changing the game
Facebook’s all up in everybody’s head
I guess they were right when they said chivalry’s dead
But who am I kidding, there’s nowhere else to look
for blame but myself when I said, bitch, I’mma hit you up on Facebook

2 thoughts on “I’mma Friend You on Facebook Bitch — An original song

  1. Hi! So I did a google search for a Jim Halpert picture (I was looking at his hair) and your blog came up (your haircut entry). Long story short, I’m going to start stalking your blog because you crack me up! This song is great as well as the other stuff I’ve read so far. Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

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