A preemptive giant apology to my liver

After I get out of work tomorrow, I will have my first 3-day weekend since New Years.

3-day weekends are pretty awesome. Because all of a sudden it’s Sunday, and it’s like “woah, I have another day to party!” And you do. And when you return to work on Tuesday, it’s like “woah, this week is only four days!” And it is.

There is only one requirement for a 3-day weekend. You MUST take full advantage of it. I understand how if you’ve had a busy week, you might want to use the weekend to simply just catch up on sleep, relax and do nothing. I get that everyone needs those weekends every once in a while.

However, for 3-day weekends, that type of behavior is unacceptable. I don’t care how rough your week was, I don’t care how little sleep you got, and I don’t care how sick you’re feeling, every single one of you is required to get drunk at least two nights this weekend. But three is encouraged. One is unacceptable. And don’t even dare speaking to me if it’s zero. Don’t even dare.

Especially with the fact that Memorial Day falls on this weekend. AND the forecast calls for 75-80 degree days all weekend long. It’s a drinker’s paradise. Barbecues, burgers and Budweisers galore!

I’m sitting here at my desk actually frightened over how much alcohol I am going to consume this weekend. I’m genuinely shivering at the thought.

I feel so bad for my liver. The abuse that I’ve put it through over the past five years is something that no vital organ should ever have to endure. It could have gotten stuck with some straight-edge kid who never drinks. Except it ended up with me. But I hope that deep down, it will understand. It has nothing to do with you, liver. It’s me.

I’m curious whether, after I die, my liver would be healthy enough to be donated to someone in need, if I were to become an organ donor? Can somebody who dies after me relay this information to me? Maybe it should be donated, actually. To a museum.

Did I mention how much I love 3-day weekends?

Is anybody else as amused as I am whenever somebody’s Facebook profile picture is clearly a picture from over a year ago? That’s their own way of saying, “Yeah, I look like shit now compared to how I used to look. So let’s hold onto that.”

I guess not everybody can be me and become more handsome and distinguished with each passing year.

No, I’m just kidding! I’m kidding! Don’t X me out!

Hey New Yorkers, and anybody else this might interest… I’m not normally into artsy stuff, because I’m not gay, but this is actually pretty cool. This website posted a bunch of pictures of New York City from the 1930s.

Here is the link: http://www.acontinuouslean.com/2011/05/21/new-york-city-in-black-white/ and here is a picture of Penn station from the 1930s:

Click to enlarge (that's what she said!!!!)

Pretty fucking cool. It’s a shame that it doesn’t look like that anymore. Upon closer look, you could see that practically everybody is dressed all classy while wearing fedoras and bowler derbys. And now, you walk through Penn Station and you see people all thugged out in their beanie caps and dreads, with homeless people sleeping under chairs. And no, I’m not singling out black people.

I’d recommend checking out all of the pictures.

I mentioned yesterday how summer is just around the corner. I forgot to include one of the biggest indications that summer is here; every movie that comes out from this point forward will be a sequel that is significantly worse than the original! In the span of five days, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and The Hangover 2 have come out, beginning the process of ruining the legacy of its own respective film franchises. Although, Pirates already accomplished that a few years ago.

However, that “Jack Sparrow” song I posted yesterday featuring Michael Bolton may have made up for the lackluster movies that were Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3. I’ve watched that video about six times already. Gets better each time.

Speaking of entertainment, I mentioned a few weeks ago how I was entering a TV show binge, and I started by watching all episodes of the show Breaking Bad. I finished it a couple of weeks ago, and it was absolutely amazing. Everyone needs to watch it. I have since moved on to a new show, and recently I finished watching the entire first season of Dexter. It is another GREAT show. The ending of the first season blew my mind, and I’ll admit it… even made me a little emotional. It’s not as good as Breaking Bad, but still very, very good.

Okay. I’m outta here. I need to rest up before I begin the self-destruction that only comes with a 3-day weekend. And I can’t wait until work ends so I can make a Facebook status about how the 3-day weekend is starting! It’s going to be great!

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