I want to accomplish something just so I can post it on Facebook

Most people spend their entire lives searching for meaning and trying to discover where their true value lies in this world. It’s why we go through 16 to 20+ years of schooling during our youth; so we can discover exactly what is we are good at, and how we can harness and nurture that ability to not only benefit ourselves, but the rest of the world as well.

In an age where it’s all about making money to survive, and during a time period where you should just consider yourself fortunate to have a job, regardless of how much money you make, it becomes harder and harder to find that true meaning.

Thus, when it’s all said and done, all somebody can really ask for is to find some type of vocation that brings us happiness on a daily basis, so that we can wake up each morning looking forward to seizing a new day. That in itself is an accomplishment.

However, if you do manage to find success in this world, and achieve things that not many other people are capable of, well then you know that you’ve lived a good life. That is something that could bring you eternal happiness. And that’s all anybody can ever ask for.

Right?

Wrong.

Fuck eternal happiness. Fuck finding meaning in the world. Fuck having success.

I want to accomplish something significant for one reason and one reason only. So I can brag about it on Facebook.

I don’t know what the hell the accomplishment would be. Perhaps I win some type of prestigious award at work, or maybe I save a kid from getting hit by a car, or maybe I win $500 on a scratch off card. I don’t give a shit. As long as it’s something good.

And when it happens, I won’t be gracious. I won’t use my accomplishments to benefit others. I won’t even thank the people I love. I’ll grab my smartphone out of my pocket and post exactly what it is I did on Facebook. I won’t even wait until I get home.

I’m at that age where my peers are either achieving great things in higher education or further establishing themselves at their jobs. Naturally, they don’t hesitate to post about their success son Facebook. Whenever I see these posts, it just reminds me of how little I have accomplished lately.

And then when I check back on the post a few hours later (because that’s what I do — and you do too, don’t deny it), I see that it was ‘liked’ by 14 people.

When the hell am I going to get an opportunity to post something on Facebook that is liked by 14 people? Sure, I could lie about an accomplishment, but that’s sleazy even for my standards (I still might do it.)

But the problem lies in actually accomplishing something. Does this mean that I actually have to try in life? Why can’t I just win something without having to do anything? Like an award for just simply being an awesome person. Those exist, right?

Perhaps Facebook really does serve a purpose. It provides incentive and motivation to do things. In the past, if you’ve accomplished something, it only spread to others through word of mouth. And even then, you didn’t get to hear what their reactions were. So what the hell was the point? Why accomplish something if you don’t get to brag about it? Why the hell did people even have motivation to do anything in the 250,000 years that Homo sapiens have existed before Facebook was created?

And how must it feel to be Mark Zuckerberg while thinking in these terms? His accomplishment was that he created Facebook. Now think about him getting to post THAT on Facebook. My brain seriously just exploded.

I’m really going to have to step up my game in life if I want to accomplish something before it’s too late. Wait, is having sex an accomplishment? It still wouldn’t make a difference anyway.

I’ll put that thought on the shelf right now.

Well, you’d think that I’d be bummed out, with the 3-day weekend coming to an end and the return of work in the A.M. But, I’m not really. Because I lived it up this weekend. As predicted, I continued the self-destruction of my liver, but it was all for a good cause. I took part in a lot of fun activities, and I had a hell of a weekend. And at the very least, we only have to deal with a four-day work week. That being said, I’m sure I’ll feel a lot more miserable when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Speaking of accomplishments, how about a shout out to the veterans on this Memorial Day weekend? Not the alive ones — they have their day on “Veteran’s Day,” and if they’re trying to boast about their army experience today, then they’re just being selfish. So, to all the veterans who have died at war, I applaud you. You’ve accomplished more than I probably ever will.

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