That’s what she said

Does this phrase ever get old. Like, ever?

The answer is no.

“That’s what she said” became immensely popular about five years ago. I think it was the NBC show “The Office” that popularized it and officially made it mainstream.

What’s my take on it, you ask? (just say it out loud to humor me before you read the next sentence.)

Is it stupid? yes.

Is it overdone? Absolutely.

Is it immature? Umm, yeah.

But is it awesome? You bet it is!

I will admit that I still say “that’s what she said” about five times a day. For one thing, before the phrase became popular, you never realized just how many sentences people utter in a single day that carry sexual innuendo. It’s startling.

However, the phrase has indeed become old, and it does annoy a lot of people. So you have to be creative. First of all, when you say it, don’t laugh like you’re a 14-year-old schoolboy who just made a funny joke. Because that’s the easiest way to reveal that you’ve probably never seen a girl’s breast before.

When you utter the words “that’s what she said,” you need to be casual. You need to be suave. Imagine yourself wearing a leather jacket, unzipped over a white t-shirt, while leaning against your car with a toothpick in your mouth and your hair flowing in the wind. You’re also probably squinting and staring absent-mindedly into the sky.

A girl walks by you, and as she nears you, she says the words, “Wow, that’s so big.” (what she is saying it to does not matter.)

You tilt your head, look at her briefly and say, “That’s… what she said” in a crispy tone, without the slightest hint of a smile, and then you go back to staring absent-mindedly towards the sky.

Now that is cool. That is the demeanor in which you must always say “that’s what she said.”

Plus, you also need to think outside the box (that’s what she said.) Any idiot can think to say it when someone says “I put it in the wrong hole.” That’s a slam dunk. It’s also not funny.

I personally love saying “that’s what she said” during an instance where it only sort of makes sense. When you actually need to think about it for a second, as to how that could possibly be a sexual innuendo, and then finally come to the conclusion that it can work if you interpret it a certain way. That’s how you do it.

Sure, I suppose that in any context, it’s still immature. But who cares? Guys are immature. We always have been and we always will be. The only reason that we give off the appearance that we are mature is because, as we age, we become wise enough to hold in our immature thoughts. We still think them. And when only guys are around, you’re damn well right that the censor goes out the window.

But why even bother anymore? It’s like how all men hold in their guts pretty much all the time they are around girls. Heck, I don’t acknowledge that I do it anymore, it’s just instinct. It’s even gotten to the point where it’s become so natural that I even fool myself into thinking I’m skinnier than I really am.

However, if all men just decided to stop doing that, and let their guts hang loose, then we wouldn’t become fatter. In contrast, the standards for what qualifies as being “in shape” would become more flexible. We’d all be doing ourselves a service.

Similarly, we should all stop pretending that we’re sophisticated and that we have interest in things like classic literature and politics, and just talk about what’s really on our mind all of the time: sports, women, food and farting. That’s pretty much it.

But, that’s never going to happen. So, this act we’re pulling… we’re just going to have to keep it up.

That’s what she said.

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