For the past two weeks now, on multiple occasions, I’ve had people ask me what I plan to wear on Halloween.
And this has been my response: “I don’t know. Halloween is three weeks away. I can’t even begin to answer that question because I have put so little thought into it.”
Whenever people ask me, I have to think for a second. Because the thought of dressing up hasn’t even entered the realm of my mind. In fact, I still don’t even have the faintest idea whether I even plan to dress up for Halloween.
It’s still early October. Maybe when It’s October 29th, I’ll think about it. That is when I will make a decision. And not on October 5th. People were asking me so early in the month that I didn’t even remember that it was October. I didn’t even realize that we were in the month that Halloween falls in.
I know that Halloween is a big deal to some people. They’ve dressed up in the past, and thus they are now expected to find some awesome costume to dress up in every year.
And I know that girls have an obligation to dress up for Halloween. Normally it is of something of the slutty variety, though I am unsure at what age that ends.
But for me, it’s just not something I feel is worth thinking about. And it is not because I think that I am too good for Halloween, or that I am too good for dressing up, I just think that it’s a giant waste of time. First of all, if you’re going to put a lot of time and effort into creating a Halloween costume, then it better be good.
There is nothing more hysterical than seeing somebody wear this elaborate costume, where you can tell they’ve days — and possibly weeks — making, and you don’t even know what they are. That is probably the best part of Halloween.
I believe that the best Halloween costumes could be made in five minutes. And literally the five minutes before you leave for a Halloween party.
For example, two years I ago I taped a dry erase board to my chest, scribbled the word “Facebook” at the top, and went over to a party. At least three people told me that I had the best costume that night. Tons of people approached me throughout the party and kept writing on my “wall.” It was a hit. I was awesome. Unfortunately, the night did not end with my relationship status changing from “single” to “having sex right now.” How awesome would that be if it was an actual relationship status?
So that is why I become so flustered when people ask me about my Halloween costume nearly a month before the actual holiday. When I was asked the first time, I became shocked by the discovery that people in the world actually do think about their Halloween costumes so far in advance. And then I got asked a couple more times, and I learned that it was a common thing.
Being the bubble burster that I am, I used to bash on Halloween all the time. I hated it during college because it meant that every bar would be packed. I’ve softened on it now, because I’ve accepted the fact that it adds a unique twist to the night, and what the hell? If people want to get dressed up for a night and look like idiots, why not let them? If it means they’ll come out and I get to have a beer with them, then who cares if I’m drinking with a retarded-looking version of Superman?
Now I know what you’re all wondering. He’s blogging about it, so obviously he must have some idea of what he might dress up as, right? Right? Well, no. I still don’t. But I assure you that I probably will do something, that it won’t take me longer than ten minutes to make, and that it will be creative and funny.
Just like this blog!