Oh, Hanukkah started?

Okay, I really do feel a lot better today. Whenever somebody asked, texted or Facebook messaged me to see if I was okay, I mostly downplayed my sadness and shrugged it all off. It’s a lot easier to say “Thanks, I’ll be alright,” then saying “I am insanely depressed, just want to go in a hole and cry, and never come out again.”

However, each person that approached me with their concern played a huge part in my recovery. Not that I am fully back to normal, and I will certainly never be the same with Pebbles gone, but I am back to feeling like my old self, at the very least. So thanks everyone.

So moving on from all that crap, let’s review what happened in the world while I was in my depressed stupor.

For one, Kim Jong-il died. Let’s be honest here. The main reason we all know about Kim Jong-Il is because of “Team America: World Police” (Fuck yeah!) Man, who knew puppets could have such an impact?

I’m not going to pretend that I know a lot about North Korea. But I do know that it is one of the most uncivilized, poor, decrepit and shittiest places in the world, thanks to the aforementioned Mr. Jong-Il.

Amazingly, everyone in North Korea loves him too, and mourned his death. I really don’t know how that’s possible.

I know that they spend every cent they have on their military, and as a result, poor South Korea has to spend every waking second of its existence keeping an eye out on North Korea. It’s like if you were bunking rooms with an actual tiger. You can’t actually go to sleep at night, because you know that if you do, the tiger will freaking maul you to death. That’s how South Korea has been… always.

I remember in World History class in high school, my teacher showed us a satellite photo of North Korea and South Korea. While South Korea is alit, since they are a normal civilization, North Korea is completely dark because they don’t even have electricity. That’s how little they have evolved. Let me see if I can find it via a Google search. Whatever picture I find, I will not give any credit to the original photographer.

There ya go.

So it’s easy to be happy over Kim Jong-Il’s death, or at the very least, indifferent, but I highly doubt anything will change over there. I believe he already trained his son to take over and keep running things the same way.

In a related story, Hanukkah apparently began today.

Jesus Christ, this holiday. I mean no offense to Jews, especially since I am half of one myself, but how little attention does this holiday get? I only know that it is Hanukkah because a couple of people posted about it on Facebook.

First of all, the date of Hanukkah changes every year. Second of all, everyone spells it a different way. There’s Hanukkah, Chanukah, Channukah, Hannukah, etc. I really don’t even know which one is correct. Maybe I’ll just call it Honica. Like Monica Gellar from Friends, but different. Who, on a side note, was also Jewish. She’s also not real.

Even my Jewish friends don’t even care about the holiday. Or they just celebrate it for one night, and not eight or nine, or whatever the hell it is.

I feel like, every year, Hanukkah becomes less and less relevant in comparison to Christmas. In fact, I firmly believe that in 20 years, Hanukkah won’t even exist anymore. Jews still will, of course. We’re like cockroaches, we just aren’t going away. Bear in mind that I am not actually calling Jews cockroaches. I would be offending myself.

People start counting down to Christmas like three months in advance. People don’t even count down to Hanukkah on the day of Hanukkah. I just feel really bad for the holiday.

However, I suppose Hanukkah gives us a fun excuse to use words that we normally wouldn’t use during any time of the year, like “dreidel,” or “menorah,” or “latke.” I will give them that, because those are fun words to say.

Regardless, Happy Hanukkah, or Channukah, or Honica, you lovable Jewish folk.

One thought on “Oh, Hanukkah started?

  1. Nice, well kinda. I have 2 Jewish friends and I can not really reply to this!

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