Okay, so I know that standards within the music industry have lowered significantly over the past couple of decades, and that presently, are probably at an all-time low.
I’m fully aware that shitty artists can make it big now based solely on their looks and their gimmick. I’m looking at you, Ke$ha.
Also I’m also aware of the fact that shitty artists can become big based solely on their ability to continuously craft catchy pop song after catchy pop song. Hi, Katy Perry!
Finally, I know that shitty artists can become famous because of who their mother or father is. What’s up, Miley Cyrus?
While having one of those attributes shouldn’t qualify you for stardom, at least it gives you a sense of accomplishment. Being hot, being good at writing shitty songs, and being born to a famous musician are still very rare commodities, and are nothing to be ashamed if that is what led to you becoming famous.
That being said, if there is any incontrovertible proof that absolutely anybody can become a famous musical artist in today’s age, it is these guys:
For one thing, they are absolutely hideous to look at. They are two disgusting, out of shape, unclean bums that looked like a studio executive picked up off the street.
Plus their songs shouldn’t even qualify as songs, since they are just stupid phrases being repeated over and over again while club music blasts in the background.
I’ve seen them perform live on television on awards shows, and this is pretty much how it goes:
There is one endless beat that gives the audience something to dance to, so I guess that is something.
There are tons of dancers they incorporate who do absolutely ridiculous dance moves, so I guess that is something.
This guy comes out on stage also, so I guess that is something:
But then the two LMFAO guys come out, and provide absolutely no entertainment value whatsoever. They yell into a microphone and just jump around the stage. So, in essence, they can’t sing, they can’t dance, and they’re ugly as shit. Why… why… why? How are these guys famous?!
I have never had even the slightest glimmer of hope of ever becoming a musical artist. I can’t carry a tune, I can’t rap, I can’t dance, and I don’t have Justin Beiber-like pureness to appeal to 12-year-old girls. However, lacking all of those traits still makes me more qualified as a musician than the two guys from LMFAO.
In comparison with LMFAO, the Black Eyes Peas look like the Beatles.
And heck, you can’t even hate on these guys. They look like complete average Joes and yet they are making millions of dollars by making party music that other people can listen to at a bar or club while drunk. Who in their right mind would not sign up for that?
You look at what other musicians have had to overcome to become famous. Ke$ha, who overcame a lack of singing ability. Katy Perry, who overcame her unsuccessful attempt at becoming a gospel-rock artist to become famous, and Miley Cyrus, who overcame… well nothing, since she has really accomplished nothing.
And yet, LMFAO overcame the small fact that they possess no musical talent whatsoever. And now they are household names in the musical world. Are you kidding? This is the ultimate success story.
Also, don’t act like you don’t say “Everyday I’m shufflin'” aloud at least one time per day.
Because you do.