You guys remember Rebecca Black?
Of course you do. You remember her because never before, in the history of the universe, has a 14-year-old girl ever emerged as one of the most hated people in America. I mean, in the aftermath of “Friday,” she was pretty much up there with Osama Bin Laden, Bernie Madoff, Lord Voldemort and anybody in this world who identifies themselves as a tea partier.
And that’s all because she was a teenager with a rich dad who released a song. Unfortunately — or fortunately — for her, the song was so indescribably bad that it became famous all over the Internet. People watched it and thought, “This is really a song?”
It’s pretty amazing that even in the age of auto-tune, Rebecca Black still sounded awful in Friday. It was pretty painful to listen to.
And in the age of YouTube and Facebook, things can go viral in a matter of seconds. Usually it’s in a good way, like how the death of the aforementioned Osama Bin Laden spread to millions and millions of people once it was made public. However, it can also work in a negative way, and that was the case for us when it came to Rebecca Black.
But, in the harsh world of the digital era, your fifteen minutes cometh, and your fifteen minutes taketh. About one year later, the girl is a mere footnote in the history of our social media age. She’s no longer relevant and she never will be. And nobody remembers her god awful song.
But earlier today, I heard a song that actually made me long for Friday.
No doubt following Rebecca Black’s cue, thousands of girls with rich fathers have probably made music videos, hoping that one of theirs will go viral and they will become successful. If Rebecca Black taught us anything, it’s that you don’t need talent, you don’t need to hone your craft, and you don’t need to actually work hard. As long as you have money, you can skip all of those minor details.
So, inevitably, another terrible song was going to become famous. It was only a matter of time. I’m not necessarily saying that this will become as big as Friday — I truly hope it won’t — but something tells me that it has a chance.
Here it is:
I mean, at least with Rebecca Black, you can tell that somebody tried to make her sound somewhat respectable. They were unsuccessful, but at least they tried.
With this “song,” I don’t think anyone spent any actual time to make any attempt to make these two girls sound better. These two girls wouldn’t even make the cut of American Idol when it comes to bad singers making it on television to provide entertainment value. It’s so monotone and so dull-sounding that it’s just plain unlistenable.
Additionally these girls aren’t hot. Sure, they’re like 13, but come on, any idiot can tell when a 13-year-old at least looks like they are going to be hot. You don’t outwardly acknowledge it, but you can tell. Meanwhile, these two girls’ faces are as dull looking as their voices.
If there is anything that social networking has promoted, it’s laziness. Additionally, things like this make me have more respect each day for artists who become famous on their own — and not through YouTube, Facebook or reality television. Even mediocre musicians like Katy Perry at least deserve that.
However, I suppose that by posting this video, I am only participating in the act of spreading it. But something tells me that you all might have ended up seeing it anyway, I just expedited the process. You heard it here first. Don’t forget it.
So I will anxiously sit back and wait to see if this song — this terrible, God forsaken song — will actually spread virally and become a YouTube sensation. Only time will tell. Which in this day and age, only means about a week or so.
Damn, no-talent shitheads like Rebecca Black and these two bitches can go viral, and my blog, which spits the truth, get’s no love. It’s okay, though. I’m not in it for the money.
I’m in it for the groupies.
Which I am still waiting for.