Did you ever wish Barbie was real? Well, be careful what you wish for.

During childhood, every boy learns about the Barbie doll. Not because we personally owned one, but because we may have had sisters’ who owned one, or female friends who owned one, perhaps they were located in kindergarten classrooms, or we may have learned about them from television commercials. Whatever reason, we know what they are, as Barbie dolls have long been a cultural staple.

I say that boys never owned Barbie dolls because, well, it’s true. Boys play with action figures. And not necessarily because we preferred to — we probably did — but it’s what our parents buy for us. If you have a daughter, you buys her dolls, and if you have a son, you buy him action figures. It’s common protocol. I don’t need to be a father to confirm that.

I know we live in a liberal age now, and I am completely accepting and appreciative of that, but even today, no father is going to buy their son a Barbie doll. I don’t care how much they reach for it in a toy store. If they see that happen, then they are going to make a beeline straight for the G.I. Joe department.

But anyway, as I said, every young boy is familiar with Barbie dolls. And I know that when we’re 5, 6 and 7, we have yet to develop any libido whatsoever, and don’t even think in terms of being attracted to the opposite sex. But, if you’ve never taken the clothes off of a Barbie doll at any point in your life out of curiosity, then you never had a childhood.

Barbie dolls are like designed to be the supermodels of toys. Their figure is absolutely unattainable. With the bleach blond hair, slender waistline and plus cup size, the Barbie doll instills a notion in young boys and girls of what is deemed as culturally beautiful.

If you want to ever place blame on why teenage girls, or any girls for that matter, think they need to be anorexic to be beautiful, well, look no further than the Barbie doll.

I mean, come on, if you saw a real-life girl walking down the street who looked exactly like that, you would think, “that girl is probably an enormous spoiled brat. And yet, I would still unquestionably sleep with her.”

Barbie dolls teach us that at young ages. We don’t realize it at the time, but we are being instilled with an image of what beauty is supposed to look like.

So that being said, who wouldn’t wish that Barbie was real? Blonde, thin and curvacious? Sign me up.

Well, it’s happened.

Ukrainian model Valeria Lukyanova is a living doll. The 21-year-old has used plastic surgery as well as everyday cosmetics to transform herself into a real-life Barbie.

Lukyanova has big, glassy eyes, long blonde hair, an ample bosom and a tiny carved waist. Her Facebook page features tens of photos of her astonishing Barbie-like body and face. In her YouTube videos, she reveals that she uses opaque lenses to achieve that glassy, wide-eyed look of a doll. She also shows off some interesting makeup styles that echo Barbie, like porcelain skin and glossy bow lips.

Sorry, but forget anything I’ve ever wished for, because this is just creepy as hell.

I understand how a women may wish to emulate Barbie, by dressing like her, or bleaching her hair, or maybe even just doing it for Halloween. But to actually surgically reconstruct your body? That’s just insane.

Also, to walk around with that dull, lifeless expression just makes me think of her as subhuman. I bet she was banging before she decided to screw around with her body too. What a shame. I think Lukyanova would have been better suited to try to resemble Barbie, and not do everything in her power to actually become her.

And this is a prime example of why you should never wish for things. There’s a reason why Barbie dolls are just that — dolls. As far as attractiveness, I’d say that human females have a slight edge.

I wonder what kind of surgical procedure I would have to perform to become a real life Ken?

Time to do some research.

3 thoughts on “Did you ever wish Barbie was real? Well, be careful what you wish for.

  1. I’m not going to lie to you, but I kinda wish I was that pretty. The smooth skin, the perfect nose,the full lips! Much more befitting to a bride than my shnoze and my weirdish tones, lol. That being said, I still think she looks creepy. Leave it to the Ukraine to do something like this.

  2. In my opinion, she isn’t pretty at all.

  3. She was probably much prettier before she went all Barbie on us though.

    and don’t say that! As Bruno Mars so eloquently said, you’re beautiful, just the way you are. Or something like that.

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