The most perfect face in England

It doesn’t happen very often, but whenever a girl tells me that I am “cute,” it gives me gigantic ego boost.  Ideally the compliment will come from an attractive female, but I’ll take it from any one, really.

When it does happen, it makes me feel very confident in my appearance, and it will give me an unearned sense of entitlement. Basically, for a few hours, I’ll be walking around like I am a supermodel.

It’s human nature to enjoy being complimented. It’s nice to be told that you are smart, that you are nice, or that you are friendly.

However, it’s a different animal to be told that you are good-looking. You can work hard and improve your intelligence, your personality or your manners, but you can’t really change what you look like. So to have outside confirmation that you are, indeed, attractive, might be the best compliment that we can receive. At least for our ego’s sake.

So, if being told that I am cute gives me a confidence boost for a few hours, then imagine being told that you are the most “perfect” looking person in an entire country.

I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, Florence Colgate.

According to a study conducted by a British television program, Colgate, who is 18-years-old, and works as a waitress, was chosen among 8,000 entrants as having the most beautiful face in the country. 

According to the article, the study was done scientifically. Meaning, actual scientists and mathematicians measured the proportions of her face, the symmetry of her features, and the dimensions of her head, to determine that she is indeed the epitome of true beauty.

A woman’s face is said to be most attractive when the space between her pupils is just under half the width of her face from ear to ear. Florence scores a 44 percent ratio. Experts also believe the relative distance between eyes and mouth should be just over a third of the measurement from hairline to chin. Florence’s ratio is 32.8 percent.

I mean, let’s face it, I don’t care what numbers you throw at me — beauty is subjective. And perfect beauty is a hell of a lot more subjective. Everybody in this world has different tastes.

That being said, I really can’t argue with the choice of Florence Colgate. In fact, I think she was a solid choice. I’ve seen prettier girls than her before. However, by just looking at her face, one glance tells me that she is universally beautiful. Her face is so aesthetically pleasing to view, that I don’t think there is one person in this world — regardless of their individual tastes — that can’t admit that she is a beautiful girl.

Also, you can tell that she doesn’t even really need makeup. She’s the ultimate “girl next door.” Although, she is English, so for us Americans, we’d have to cross an entire ocean to get to her door. Not that I had any intentions to seek out her door, anyway. Where is this going?

But getting back to my original point. I said how much of an ego boost I receive when one single person tells me I’m good-looking. Well, when you get selected out of 8,000 entrants, and given the title of “Britain’s most beautiful face,” and have articles written about you, what is there really left to accomplish in life? What other validation do you possibly need to know that you are, in fact, good-looking?

If I were her, I would seriously put that on my resume. I’d put it down after “waitressing,” “earning a 2.8 grade-point-average in community college,” and “efficient in Microsoft Power Point.” Once you read “declared Britain’s most perfect face,” it’s over. You’ve got the job.

I don’t know Florence Colgate, nor will I ever, but I bet she is the sweetest young lady in the world. I bet this will not get to her head, that she will still continue to volunteer at soup kitchens, and that she will help old ladies cross the street regularly. And that’s why she deserves this title.

But I’m not as good of a person as Ms. Colgate. So if it were me, I wouldn’t even look at other people. If I had the most beautiful face in the country, I wouldn’t even give people the right to look squarely at me.

So it’s probably a good thing that my eyes and nose are not as symmetrical as they optimally could be.

But you know what? I’ll still settle for being called “cute” every few months.

Even if it’s by my mom.

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