Returning to former Facebook profile pictures is an acknowledgement of ugliness

Nothing is more important in this world than your Facebook profile picture. Everybody knows that.

That being said, equally as important is ensuring that your Facebook photo never goes stale. If you leave the same photo for over a year, or longer, well that’s the equivalent of keeping the same exact haircut for years at a time. You become boring and irrelevant.

You have to keep your Facebook photo fresh. By doing so, you prove to people you’re not a “one hit wonder,” meaning that you didn’t just happen to have one specific photo that you looked good in, and not one else. You want to prove that you look good in different contexts, angles and situations. Nobody wants to be the Facebook profile photo version of Natalie Imbruglia.

The Timeline has given people a little more leeway when it comes to this. Because now you have two photos that you have to update — your profile picture and your cover picture. Thus, the shelf life of each photo has expanded a tiny bit. In the past, I’d say that you wanted to change your profile picture about every three to four months. By changing it, you lure people to your page and maintain relevance in other people’s lives.

But now, with the addition of the cover photo, I’d say that the shelf life has elongated to about five or six months. But you have to change your cover photo before that. By doing so it’ll take away people’s attention from your lack-of-change and redundant profile photo.

There have certainly been times in my life when I’ve said, “Man, it’s been a while since I had a good new option for a Facebook profile picture, let me manipulate one.” I’m sure others think the same.

However, I think one of the biggest cardinal sins of this philosophy is changing your profile picture back to a picture that you previously had as your profile picture in the past.

When in doubt, just keep the same picture. A new one will come along. It’ll happen when you least expect it.

But returning to an old picture is dull, unoriginal and basically translates to waving a white flag and saying, “I looked better then than I do now.” Or in other words, “I’m ugly.”

I will be the first to admit that I have done this before. I have gone through stretches where no good pictures were taken of me for a lengthy time period, so I resorted to changing my profile picture to an older one. I will never make this mistake again.

Just imagine a company that designs shoes. They made a great design, but since then, over the next two years, have hit a lull and have not been able to match the same success. So instead of trying to be creative and innovative, they release the same exact design from two years ago in hopes that they can reciprocate the same success they previously had.

That would not happen. Fashion is about evolving and trying to set trends, and not about living in the past. Releasing an old design is basically just admitting that you are not as good as you used to be.

And it works the same way with your Facebook profile picture. When you reuse an older photo, it could not be a bigger cop-out. It’s your own subconscious admitting defeat that you looked better in the past than you do right now, and you are informing the public of it. Whenever I see people do it, it is exactly what I think.

Like always, I’m just trying to help, because I don’t think that people realize this. If you do indeed have that once-in-a-lifetime great photo that makes yourself look like you have the face of Marion Cotillard, the playful glow of Marilyn Monroe and the body of Catherine Zeta Jones during the filming of Entrapment, then keep it for a while. Shelf lives become extended for those rare golden pictures.

But someday you have to retire it, and retire it for good. It’ll always be there in your archived photos and other people will see it. As much as we all want to, we cannot relive the glory days.

The only thing you can do is keep hanging out with people who take a lot of pictures. And then you wait.

But do not, DO NOT, revert to old photos. It’s weak and you’re better than that.

So speaking of Facebook, how did Mark Zuckerberg’s wedding go so unreported? Why was there no giant buzz surrounding this? And who even knew he was engaged?

In my opinion, this wedding should have garnered as much publicity as the Royal Wedding did. Prince William’s accomplishments are nothing to compared to Zuckerberg. All he had do was… be born.

It could have been called “The Zuckerwedding.”

At the very least, the wedding should have been streamed live over Facebook, and millions of people could have “liked” it. Also, I wonder if the two of them met by poking each other?

I think I’m going to now spend the next ten minutes poking every girl who I know. Actually, that would probably only take two minutes.

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