So I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises

Let me begin today’s blog by mentioning that I had absolutely no idea that we landed a rover on Mars until somebody told at work this morning. It’s one of the biggest outer space advancements that we’ll probably experience in our lifetimes and yet I had no clue.

I’m not really too surprised that I hadn’t heard anything about it though, because most people are so wrapped up in their own petty lives and problems, so why would anyone ever bother discussing something that is 100 million miles away? Nobody really cares too much about Mars, unless they’re talking about Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Besides, what do people really expect to see in these photographs? If anything worrisome or groundbreaking were to appear, NASA would hold on to them and keep their mouth shut. Did you expect to see an actual alien or something? No, instead, you should have expected what all of us should have expected — lots and lots of rocks and dirt.

But, hey, it’s rocks and dirt from Mars, as opposed to rocks and dirt from your backyard, so I guess that is kind of cool.

The rover was apparently given the name Curiosity, which makes it sound like they are trying to emulate something straight out of WALL-E. NASA might as well have made two separate rovers, sent them together and denoted one of them male and the other female. It could have been a love story!

Speaking of this whole astronomical ordeal, here is a funny cartoon that I stole from Reddit (which, I might add, I am starting to grow very fond of — I’ve come a long way):

Funny stuff.

So I mentioned Joseph Gordon-Levitt a moment ago, and I suppose that’s a good enough segue into my primary topic: The Dark Knight Rises.

I wrote the word “finally” in jest in the title, because I don’t think waiting two weeks to see a movie is a very long time at all. But with all of the hooplah surrounding this film, it made it feel as if you weren’t an actual human being unless you saw it. So I went two weeks as a non-human.

Okay, I know it’s stupid, but I will admit that I was a little paranoid during the film. Anytime someone stood up, I eyeballed them for a split-second to ensure that they were indeed leaving to go to the bathroom, and not to start tossing tear gas all over my theater. Again, it’s really, really stupid, but I couldn’t help it. Needless to say, no psychotic red-haired lunatics were in my theater, and I am grateful for that.

So as I mentioned the other day, I had a pretty tempered expectation level for the movie. I fully expected it to be a high-quality film, but I wasn’t jumping on the fanboy bandwagon and expecting the “greatest movie of all time.”

But all in all, it was good.

What I enjoyed most about it was the equal distribution of screentime between the characters. That way, things never got too dull or drawn out. It was a pretty star-studded cast, and every actor and actress did a very nice job in their respective roles. I was also very fond of how the final minutes of the movie ended, which put a nice capper on the whole experience for me.

Was it the best movie I’ve seen? Hell no. Was it the best movie I’ll end up seeing this year? Highly doubt it. Was it the best superhero trilogy ever made? Probably.

But is it the best trilogy ever made? No. Relax, people. Just off the top of my head, Back to the Future, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Let’s not get too excited, now.

And as far as the GIANT spoiler, I was pretty underwhelmed. People were hyping it up so much that I was half expecting that somehow Morgan Freeman would end up being the Batman all along, or something ridiculous like that.

I’m personally excited for Christopher Nolan to move on from this trilogy and now create some more original works. After all, that’s how we got masterpieces like Memento and Inception. So bring it, Chris.

Speaking of upcoming movies, has there ever existed a movie poster that made it so blatantly obvious that the movie was going to suck — more than this one?

God damn. If the acting in this movie is as bad as it is in this poster, then it might make a run at the worst movie of all time. Yeah, there are some “big names” in there, but because an actor was good at one point in time, doesn’t mean they will be now. Robert De Niro, Robin Williams and Diane Keaton have not been relevant in quite some time now. I think I am going to skip this one.

Alright, in keeping with my desire to have some Olympics-related fodder for you all in each blog, I will now leave you with screen shots of hysterical and/or ridiculous names from this year’s Olympic games. Enjoy.

You can’t make this stuff up.

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