Why do people become subconscious about their drunkenness?

Drinking alcohol changes people — there’s really no question about that. The change could be subtle or drastic, or for the worse or for the better. But nobody acts exactly the same way drunk as they do sober.

Maybe it’s just because I drink a lot, but I definitely think that I am one of the more composed inebriates that you could ever meet. Alcohol, even in excess, does not really alter my behavior too much. In fact, to be perfectly honest, it makes me become more of a socialite. I think that I am far more personable, interesting and zesty when I am drunk. I know that that’s probably not a good thing, but it is what it is.

Therefore, never once in my life have I ever done anything majorly regretful when I was drunk. Of course there have been times when I acted certain ways, or said some things that I wish I didn’t. But still, never anything that has caused an official strain in any relationships or friendships.

I blogged last week about how guys are immature. When we’re sober, we still say and do goofy things. So when we’re drunk — forget it. We revert back to 9-year-olds. I’m sure girls know this already.

But that’s obvious. I assume that when I do things when I’m drunk that I wouldn’t do sober, everyone will just know I’m doing it because I am drunk. If I do a cartwheel in the middle of the sidewalk, I take it for granted that people will see it and think, “Oh, he’s drunk. So he’s doing a cartwheel.” And that will be the end of that.

Whereas if I were sober and did a cartwheel in the middle of the sidewalk, people might think I’m insane.

So, bearing that in mind, I don’t understand why people become self-conscious about their drunken behaviors. You’re drunk, most other people around you are drunk, and you all know that.

However, every now and then I’ll get texts from people, after a long night of drinking, who will say, “Sorry if I acted weird last night. I was really drunk.”

Whenever I see these, I laugh and just think, “No shit.” And pretty much every time it happens, I don’t even acknowledge that the person was acting weird. In fact, I probably enjoyed how they were acting. So why become so self-conscious?

And I’ll say that nine out of ten times when I get these messages, it’s from a girl and not a guy. This goes back to my “girls being more mature” discussion. Obviously they will lose some of that maturity upon drinking, and sometimes they don’t handle it well after the fact. Girls think they have some sort of expectation to live up to, and when they don’t, that they lose respect in other people’s eyes. I just find it all really amusing.

If anything, for me it is the opposite. I gain respect whenever people, guys or girls, let their hair down and just surrender themselves to a night of drunken debauchery. We all need those every now and then.

I’ve never regretted anything I’ve done when I was drunk. Everything I do, even when alcohol is affecting my brain, is calculated and thought out. The reasoning might be totally out of whack, but it’s still thought out. Regardless of how drunk I am, I don’t lose my principles, morals or my manners. For the most part. Again, it could just be different for me though because I am a borderline alcoholic.

And obviously it goes without saying that being drunk doesn’t excuse poor behavior. It’s one thing to be in a bad mood — which in turn will be accentuated by alcohol — but it still doesn’t justify physical violence, verbal assaults or talking behind somebody’s back. Those are things that, despite what I said before, can’t simply be chalked up to, “Oh, he was drunk so it was okay.”

But, anyway, the point is that I become amused when people feel compelled to apologize for being drunk and acting goofy. In my mind, it was never something you needed to apologize for.

So I’m blogging pretty late today, and it’s primarily because I am extremely lazy, but more so because I got caught up watching the Olympics closing ceremonies. I for one am extremely sad that the Olympics are over. I found myself enjoying the two-week games more than any other Olympics I can remember.

I think it has even become a life goal of mine to one day spend some time in a city where the Olympics are happening. By all accounts, it’s supposed to be a very energetic and lively two-week period, and I would like to experience that. Additionally, you hear all these reports about how people’s libido skyrockets during the Olympic Games in the host city, and it never hurts to put yourself in a greater position to get laid. Albeit it would probably just increase the odds from one in a thousand to one in nine-hundred and fifty. But by golly I will take it!

And how about the Spice Girls performance? I was never a big Spice Girls fan when I was a young kid and they were at the peak of their popularity, but by god, I could not believe how smokin’ hot they all looked. They are all in their late-thirties now, but I would have willingly had sexual intercourse with any one of them, without even having to think about it.

Dayumn, son. You really can’t go wrong with any of them.

By the way, it’s too bad that Carly Rae Jepsen wasn’t relevant during the Winter Olympics two years ago in Vancouver. Call Me Maybe could have been the anthem of the games.

We all missed out.

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