You can’t make this stuff up

It’s amazing how much can happen in the world in just four days. The last time I blogged was Thursday evening, and now it is Monday evening, and the last 96 hours have brought upon different sources of news that are a combination of facepalm-worthy and tragic.

Let’s start with an incident that occurred in Oklahoma City at a school called Prague High School. Actually, this most likely occurred earlier this summer, but the news is only going national now.

Apparently some girl named Kaitlin Nootbaar (which, incidently, may be the best last name I’ve ever heard. It sounds like a name of a candy bar) was the valedictorian of the school this past year. Good for her. That means she is obviously a smart girl with a bright future ahead.

That is, a future that may be stalled due to the small fact that the school is withholding her diploma.

According to the story, Kaitlin was delivering her speech and talking about how often she’s changed her mind as to what career she wants to pursue. At the end, she said that when people ask her now what she wants to do, she tells them, “What the heck do I know?” However, instead of ‘heck,’ she slipped and said ‘hell.’ As a result, the school is refusing to allow her to have her rightfully earned diploma until she apologizes.

OH MY LORD THE HUMANITY. How dare this miscreant poison the minds of the students at jolly old Prague High School by blaspheming the word “hell” upon their virgin ears! She should spend the rest of her life seeking penance from God almighty, who is now looking down on the Nootbaar household with shame. How dare thee.

Seriously, this may actually be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. And that was before I even became aware of another piece of information — The mascot of Prague High School is THE RED DEVILS.

You can’t make this stuff up. You really can’t.

There already is a Facebook group that exists calling for the school to give Kaitlin her diploma, which you can view here.  And that is why the Internet is awesome. Through Facebook and Twitter, we can now easily expose all the dumb shit in this world with ease. Kudos to whoever began that Facebook group. Something tells me that, by the end of the week, Kaitlin Nootbaar will have her diploma. Man I love that name. In fact I think the phrase “Nootbaar!” should officially replace “YOLO!” It’s done. I’ve decided.

In other news, “The Expendables 2” is the #1 movie in the U.S. after it grossed a shade under $30 million this weekend. It also has a 65% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 7.8 rating on IMDB. Its cast consists of Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Liam Hemsworth.

Do people seriously not care about the integrity of our country? How can we make this the #1 movie, and still consider ourselves an educated, cultivated society?

Don’t get me wrong, you’re allowed to see this movie. It’s your own hard-earned money and you can do whatever you choose with it. However, if you do see it — at least in theaters — you shouldn’t expect people to take you seriously about anything ever again. By watching the Expendables, you have actually made yourself expendable.

The last thing I want to discuss is the sad story about director Tony Scott committing suicide yesterday. Whenever somebody commits suicide, the first thing people wonder is, “Why?” Well, that seems to have been answered. Although the more prestigious publications like the NY Times and Washington Post have yet to confirm it, other less-esteemed news tablets, like the New York Daily News, have revealed that Scott had inoperable brain cancer. I guess that’ll do it.

Still, the guy had a wife and two young sons. To leave them behind like that — no matter what struggles you are enduring — is nothing short of cowardice. I hate to say it, but it’s true.

I have nothing more to add to the subject, but I wanted to point out that Tony Scott has directed a lot of really good movies, some of which people may not even realize — Top Gun, True Romance, Crimson Tide, Enemy of the State, Man on Fire, Deja Vu and Unstoppable were all his concoctions. As far as creating fast-paced action thrillers, not many did it better than Tony Scott. And by “action thrillers” I don’t mean crap like the Expendables — but movies that contain action that have actual depth and quality cinematography.

Also, as a movie aficionado I am ashamed to say that I had no clue that he was the younger brother of Ridley Scott. That information kind of blew my mind, actually. Oh well.

And finally, in news that is slightly more uplifting, Rosie O’Donnell apparently had a heart attack, but is doing better now. She posted about in limerick form on her blog. Yup, Rosie O’Donnell has a blog. Her and I are one in the same. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. However, I am glad to hear that she’s doing all right. Maybe this will open her eyes to take better care of herself and enjoy life a little more.

In other words…


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