Today was a great day.
No I did not hook up with my dream girl. No I did not get a raise at my job. Nor did I win $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket. This news is even better.
For the first time in her already illustrious career, Taylor Swift reached the #1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 with her new single, “We are Never Ever Getting Back Together!” WOO-HOO! Yeah!! Everybody come and celebrate with me!
*Starts jumping up and down. Realizes no one follows.*
Well, it is exciting. Taylor reached the 2 spot twice in 2009, with her singles “You belong With Me” and “Today Was a Fairy Tale,” but had yet to reach the peak. But now she has.
Taylor, the Weinblog would like to formally congratulate you on your historic accomplishment. I’d also like to buy you dinner.
Man, she looks so good in that photo. I can’t resist a girl with bangs. I don’t know why. But speaking of haircuts, apparently whenever a singer or actress changes their hairstyles, it is news now. It’s like there are no wars or economic recessions going on — all that matters is Lady Gaga’s new haircut.
But nothing takes the cake more than the scrutiny that Kate Middleton gets. A few months back, it was an actual ‘scandal’ that she wore the same dress twice in eleven days. A scandal. Like as in… bigger than Watergate.
If you ask me, Kate looks fantastic all of the time.
Just look at her elegance. Every girl wishes that they could look half as good as Kate does. #Hatersgonnahate.
But anyway, back to Lady Gaga. Apparently she died her hair brown, and now the Internet is abuzz. How did all of you handle this news? Are you coping? If you need somebody to talk to in light of this startling revelation, I’m here for you.
Additionally, last week it was a story that Miley Cyrus cut her hair short and bleached it blond. Personally, I think she looks like Draco Malfoy. And yes I just linked to a site called the Hollywood Gossip.
The point is, why does this deserve any semblance of attention? Why does this news have to eventually somehow reach my ears?
When I get a new haircut, I don’t expect there to be rumblings around my office with people discussing my new look. In fact, I almost sympathize for these celebrities. They can’t even dye their hair without attracting national attention.
But then I remember that they are millionaires, and my sympathy dissipates. You know what? Maybe next I get a haircut, I will be the one to blog about it. I will be the one to post pictures, and I will pose to the public whether it is “hot or not?” Maybe that will be the post that finally brings the Weinblog to the national spotlight. And then after that, I’ll wear the same shirt twice in eleven days.
Actually, shit, I don’t think I even own enough clothes to not wear the same shirt twice in eleven days. In fact, I can probably do the same shirt three times in eleven days. And I’ll wear the same three pairs of jeans over that time. Scandal!
Oh well. I have one more bit of celebrity news to point out — I have voiced my opinion on the past about how even though American Idol is an annoying reality show, it does serve a good purpose and actually discovers quality talent. Just look at Kelly Clarkson (who sold out the Nikon Theater at Jones Beach last night), Jordin Sparks, Jennifer Hudson, Carrie Underwood, Philip Phillips, etc.
So in my opinion, because of the talent, the show was watchable.
But now it isn’t. It was reported the other day that Nicki Minaj was going to take over as the next judge to replace Stephen Tyler. But apparently it’s not confirmed. As if it that wasn’t bad enough — I’ve previously expressed how Nicki Minaj is one of my least favorite people on the planet — there are now rumors that Kanye West might be the next judge.
Excuse me while I go vomit uncontrollably into a bath tub.
With Nicki Minaj as a judge, I would have at least just tuned in for the performances and skipped over the judges’ comments, maybe. But if Kanye West has anything to do with that show then I may have to boycott. And, oh god, just think of all the “I’mma let you finish…” jokes that are going to ensue. Horrible.
So since I decided to become Weinblog Hilton today and stick primarily to celebrity gossip, which in a sense is kind of hypocritical to the actual title of this blog post, let me point out a news item that actually means something to the world. It’s a report by the NY Times about autism.
One in 88 children are on the autism spectrum. But in the past, nobody has really known what causes autism. So little is known about it. Many attribute it to environmental factors, but nobody had any hard evidence. Well it seems like there is finally a study with merit that may shed some light on what may play a factor in causing it.
Older men are more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia, because of random mutations that become more numerous with advancing paternal age, scientists reported on Wednesday, in the first study to quantify the effect as it builds each year. The age of mothers had no bearing on the risk for these disorders, the study found.
I just think it’s interesting because, as I just said a moment ago, it’s the first real study that has actually quantified the risks of autism. It also makes me think — my father was 47 when he had me. So does that mean I was lucky to turn out all right?
Actually on second thought, “all right” may not be the right way to put it. I am a Mets fan, after all. I am also a 25-year-old male who has an affinity for Taylor Swift.
God dammit, dad, what did you do??