Is anybody else tired of people talking about which foods are “healthy” and which are “bad for you?”

The majority of our country knows absolutely nothing when it comes to dieting and nutrition.We all like to think we do. But we don’t. Of course we know the basics. Basics such ss…

cheeseburger = bad.

salad = good.

pizza = bad.

banana = good.

And that’s pretty much all we know. For the average person, we label all foods into two categories — healthy and unhealthy. Because when it comes down to actually knowing all about the five food groups, and all the specific ingredients, we don’t know shit. But what is the difference with me? I don’t pretend to.

Pretty much every time I am in a restaurant, or a deli, with any other person, some type of statement will arise that involves health. For example, somebody might say how they want to order that chicken parmigiana sandwich, but then they’ll say, “I don’t know, it’s really fattening.”

And then they’ll go ahead and do it anyway. It’s almost like as long as they admit that it’s unhealthy, they think it won’t actually have an effect on them.

I perfectly understand that people want to eat healthy. But I don’t need your inner dialogue. I don’t need to hear about how you splurged this past weekend, so that is why you are ordering a salad right now. I never needed the justification, because I really didn’t care too much to begin with.

Seriously, just order your freaking food, and eat it. Enjoy it. Eating a meal is not supposed to be a stressful time of the day. I know you’re constantly thinking about calories, and cutting back, but you should also eat what you want to eat. If it’s a salad, awesome. If it’s a filet mignon, awesome.

I myself like to eat healthy. And not even because I’m dieting, but because I enjoy healthy foods. Occasionally I will go to Starbucks, and because I want to, I’ll order a White Chocolate Mocha or a Caramel Macchiato. They taste so damn good and drinking them makes me happy. But then when someone asks me what I ordered, and I tell them, and they respond by saying, “You know that’s like 600 calories right?” Well, it makes me want to eject the coffee from my cup into their face.

Everyone likes to pretend they are a dietitian these days. Everyone has their own little tips on how to lose weight.

“Stay away from carbs!”

“Avoid sugar!”

“Eat more fruits!”

First of all, no shit. Anybody with half a brain knew all that stuff. Arnie, the retarded brother from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape knew that.

Secondly, just be quiet. Most of the time when people try to lend their “insight,” they were never even asked to begin with. I honestly would be perfectly okay if I never heard the word “fattening” again in my life. I could do without it.

And it’s the best when people talk about chicken. You’ll hear people say how they’re contemplating cutting meat out of their diet. But then somebody will respond, “But chicken is good for you, bro! All that protein! Chicken, brah.”

So let’s sum up.

Eating healthy = good.

Eating unhealthy = not good for you, but as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.

Talking about eating healthy or your desire to start eating healthy, and being very specific about it = For the love of God, stop.

I know it sounds cruel, because you would think that I should be supportive of people’s desires to eat healthy and lose weight. However, the majority of the time, when people are talking aloud about this stuff, they’re not even seeking encouragement or asking for advice. They’re just trying to convince themselves that they’re eating the right way. It really serve no purpose.

In other news, a story that came out recently that was pretty bizarre involved actor Bruce Willis allegedly suing iTunes because he wishes to bequeath his musical collection to his children upon his death.

On the surface, this story sounds ridiculous. Why would Bruce Willis, a millionaire, sue iTunes over something so silly. But then I thought it and realized — is this really that silly?

With the Internet police cracking down on pirating over the past year or so, people have been forced to purchase their music on iTunes or Spotify. But iTunes was here first and most people were too lazy to start anew with a different program.

But people were probably unaware of the fact that when you “buy” music, you are not actually owning it. You are simply “renting” it, so to speak. Upon your death, your musical collection vanishes with you. And for a rich guy like Bruce, who may have millions upon millions of songs, this could present a problem.

Reports later surfaced via Bruce’s wife Emma Heming on Twitter that he was not in fact suing the media conglomerate. However — he should. Someone needs to fight the good fight and end this travesty. iTunes was not forthright in publicizing this information — otherwise we would know about it.

At the very least, the Die Hard star has brought this piece of information to light, and perhaps now something can be done about it.

Well done, Bruce. The man can singlehandedly prevent a plane crash, stop an asteroid from wiping out our planet and expose iTunes — all in one lifetime.

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