Shit. It’s that time of the year when people pretend they know politics.

The other day, I actually saw a political post on my Newsfeed.

I had to read it twice to be sure, but after further inspection, I could confirm that it was indeed a political post. As a 25-year-old, my Facebook friends consist of people pretty much in the age range of 24 to 29. So politics isn’t usually something I see. In fact, it’s pretty much nonexistent.

And I kind of like it that way.

I blogged the other day about how people don’t actually know anything about nutrition, and I can go ahead and say the same thing about politics. Most people lean left or right, or are indifferent, and that’s that.

But come September and October of an election year — the ignorance comes out.

So I saw the first political post about a week ago. It was following the Republican National Convention, where Clint Eastwood pretty much embarrassed the entire Republican party. But anyway, I didn’t watch a second of the convention, however, on my Newsfeed, somebody posted about how “moved” they were by Mitt Romney’s speech.

Firstly, if you’re moved by anything that Mitt Romney said, then you probably are pretty easily manipulated. It probably means you cry during Pixar movies. It probably also means you go to Burger King five minutes after you watch one of their commercials.

Secondly, you can’t be moved by Mitt Romney’s speech because Mitt Romney didn’t write it. A team of speechwriters carefully dictated every word of his speech, contriving sentences that would attempt to appeal to individuals of all political affiliations. All Mitt Romney did was open his mouth and articulate the words that were laid out before him.

What moved you so much? Was it that he promised more jobs? Would it be that he vowed to make some changes? Just like how Barack Obama did four years ago?

Well let me tell you something. I’m not saying that Mitt Romney was lying during his speech. I mean, we all know that all politicians don’t do 95% of the shit they promise during their campaign.

However, everyone wants to make a difference in this world. It’s what we strive for. Whether you are the President of the United States of America, a biologist, a schoolteacher, or a Walmart employee, we all want to make a difference.

Of course, we don’t actually do it. Ever. So when Mitt Romney promises to “change the world,” and then four years later, he hasn’t — well I don’t blame him. I blame the idiots who actually believed him.

So anyway, I saw that one political post on my Newsfeed. I kind of glossed it over, but then in the coming days, I saw more. Today, somebody posted a chart that listed four economical statistics that have declined since Obama took office.

Wow, congratulations dude! You picked four arbitrary statistics that cater perfectly to your cause, and simply posted them instead of actually trying to prove a point with your own words. I bet you thought that single Facebook post would convince 10 of your Facebook friends to vote Republican. Well done.

I don’t log onto Facebook to get people’s political opinions. And I especially don’t log onto Facebook to get people’s stupid political opinions. Fine, if you have a law degree from George Washington and are currently working in Washington D.C. in some political format, then I will respect your opinion. But if you’re just as ignorant as the other 99% of my Facebook friends, I deeply wish for you to keep it to yourself.

Since when has Facebook become a venue for political commentary? if you want to preach your thoughts — volunteer. Join a nonprofit. Go picketing.

Posting on Facebook does not make you a political pioneer. It only serves to make me hate you more. And that, my friend, is bad politics.

In other news, I learned of a Hollywood remake today. Yeah I know, Hollywood has ruined so many things that there can’t possibly be another remake of something that would actually be so bad that it would infuriate you at this point, right?

Wrong.

I have so much to say, but I think the leading comment from YouTube pretty much does the job:

“WHOEVER GREENLIT THIS FUCKING ABOMINATION SHOULD HANG HIMSELF IN SHAME AND DISHONOR.”

So eloquent, yet so true.

But seriously, you can’t remake The Christmas Story. You just can’t. This movie encapsulates the spirit of Christmas, it encapsulates childhood, it encapsulates hopes and dreams, our youthful desires and blissful ignorance. It encapsulates the father-and-son relationship, it encapsulates the anticipation of Christmas day, and the excitement of waking Christmas morning. It encapsulates all of that.

As long as this movie comes around at Christmastime, and we watch it, the kid inside of us cannot die.

And not only is Hollywood remaking it, but they casted Daniel motherfucking Stern to succeed Darren McGavin as Ralphie’s father, also knows as The Old Man. I… I have no words. Shame on anyone involved in this project.

Shame.

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