The presidential debates start tomorrow, but more people will probably watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Just in case anybody was wondering, tomorrow (Oct. 3) President Obama and Governor Romney will begin the first round of presidential debates. It begins at 9 p.m. EST, and will air on C-SPAN, ABC, FOX, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN and FOX News. The topic of the debate will be foreign policy.

By the way, I actually did check my TV guide. Keeping Up with the Kardashians indeed airs at 9 p.m. tomorrow on E! So you do have options.

Let’s face it. Nobody will watch the debates. I might tune into it for a few minutes, just so I can say I watched it when somebody asks me the next day, but then I’ll quickly change the channel.

Nobody really wants to sit and listen to somebody talk for 90 minutes. That’s what we did in college lecture halls, and it was brutal. But allow me to tell you why the debates don’t even really matter.

None of these two candidates are going to say something so profound that they’re actually going to sway voters. With one month to go before the election, everybody already knows who they are voting for. They’ve known for a while.

But let me tell you why the debates could be important. You can’t win an election solely through a debate, but you certainly can lose one. Whether it’s Rick Perry forgetting how to count during the Primaries, or John Kerry uttering the word “lesbian” several times, it is the misspeaks and gaffes that people remember long after the debate ends.

So pretty much, the person who will win a presidential election is the person who says less stupid things on record. Right now, Barack Obama is winning that battle significantly. Obama hasn’t done anything to damage his character or his reputation since his campaign began.

Mitt Romney has. Yeah I know he said this off the record, but that actually makes it worse. Because that means he was saying what he truly believed, and not what he was saying to appease voters. Ironically, Mitt Romney actually spoke truthfully for once, and it’s going to cost him what little chance he had at winning the election.

But I don’t really want to talk politics. If you actually read my blog during your spare time, instead of reading CNN or the NYTimes, then you probably had absolutely no idea that the presidential debates were starting tomorrow. So consider this blog as a reminder to avoid all major networks tomorrow.

And at the very least, when you’re with your coworkers on Thursday afternoon, and one of them brings up the debates, now you can at least acknowledge that you knew they were on, rather than hearing about it for the first time and making yourself seem like even bigger of a moron than you already are.

What’s the better thing to do though? Let me tell you. Skip the actual debates, and watch the Daily Show on Thursday night. Jon Stewart will be sure to give the best and most humorous recap imaginable. And trust me, if Obama or Romney said something stupid — Stewart will let us know.

After that, be sure to catch the Saturday Night Live mock depiction of the debates. They do it every year and it is always hilarious. Jay Pharaoh is the current Obama impersonator, and Jason Sudeikis is the Romney impersonator, and it will probably be must-watch TV.

So, again.

Actual debates = bad.

Daily Show and SNL = good.

Keeping up with the Kardashians = kill yourself.

My idea on how to liven up the presidential debates? I think Obama and Romney should both race to the top of the Aggro Crag, and the whoever gets there first wins the day. They don’t win the election, just the day. But I’d take a glowing piece of that radical rock over a seat in the oval office any day of the week.

You can even make the colors red and blue. More people would watch that than the current format, no doubt.

Or perhaps just have Justin Bieber become the moderator. We already know just how opinionated he is on the American healthcare system, after all.

Also, the vice presidential debate will be on October 11th, and the only reason that has any significance to me is because I seriously don’t think I have ever heard Joe Biden speak before. As far as I knew, he was only capable of smiling and occasionally nodding his head.

Actually, now that I think about it — if politicians never spoke aloud, like ever, this world would probably be a better place. Politicians and Justin Bieber, that is.

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