People love soldiers, and people love kittens, so…

There’s a handful things in this world that are just flat-out impossible to hate on.

Like, for example, the president of the United States is not one of them. If you lived in Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union in the 30s or 40s, and you publicly spoke ill of your government — the punishment was death. Not a slap on the wrist, not a jail sentence, but death.

Heck, if you lived in Eastern Germany as recent as the late 80s, you’d be imprisoned if it was determined that you were an enemy of the state.

Those who were born and raised in America don’t realize how privileged they are. You can burn an American flag, or can hold a sign voicing your displeasure with the president while standing outside the White House — and face no consequence. So I hope the people who bash our government on Facebook realize that had they lived in a different time period, and in a different country, that they’d be shot.

But anyway, I’m going on a tangent here. So I was saying that there are only a handful of things that can’t ever be insulted, and are universally beloved by all. Things like oxygen, rainbows, Billy Joel, chocolate chip cookies, baby animals, the feeling of velvet, etc. Oh, and another one? Our troops.

And while people do openly bash both our country and our president, you never hear anyone bash our soldiers.  And rightfully so. When do you ever hear people say, “Fuck our troops!” The mere thought of somebody saying that is incorrigible. No matter how anti-war you are, and no matter how much you hate the idea of combat, you still love the troops.

When we see a solider in person, we give them a standing ovation. They are heroes.

So what happens when you actually mix a couple of these things? For example, what would happen if you take a solder and pair him with something that is universally adored… like kittens?

Well, let me show you.

OH MY GOD IT’S SO CUTE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.

Anyway, so the story, posted on a website called lovemeow.com — cat lovers, adjust your bookmarks accordingly — is about a group of marines who were docked while deployed overseas. The story is actually from last year, but the photos are timeless.

While docked, they found a cat aboard their boat. They lost track of the cat, but then found it later in the evening, and removed it from the boat. As they pulled off the dock, they waved goodbye to the cat, who — and I quote one of the sailors from the story — “seemed unusually upset by this.”

Well, apparently the cat had snuck aboard with three other kittens, who the sailors found why they were out to sea. Upon finding the kittens, the sailors made them an impromptu nest, fed them, and cared for them. In essence, they became each other’s travel companions. When they docked again, they brought the kittens to veterinary services, and the kittens have since been adopted.

Well, ain’t that just a great old American tale?

Firstly, if you want to see more photos, there is a whole barrage of them on the link I posted earlier to lovemeow.com

As heartfelt a story as this is, I desperately sympathize for the one cat who was left off the boat an is now forever separated from her kitten family. For that cat, there is no happy ending. In fact, that cat was probably the mother. But on the other hand, the separated kittens, had they been on their own, probably would have died without the aid of these soldiers. It’s a mixed bag of emotions.

Anyway, the point is that the combination of soldiers and kittens is the perfect storm of likability. Not one single individual in this world can look at these photos and become angry. It’s impossible. It goes without saying that every girl would enjoy this, and that seeing these images might even reduce them to tears.

But even the most manliest of men would see these photos and go, “Okay, that’s pretty cute.” And then they’d go to the gym to cancel out their moments of weakness.

You know how you see that jacked dude in a sleeveless shirt all of the time at the gym lifting 900 pounds like he’s pissed off? Well he’s pissed off because he just came from his house, where he was watching adorable animals on Animal Planet, and he was enjoying it.

Also, that same group of marines probably could have saved 100 human beings the next day from some type of disaster, and nobody would care nearly as much as they would for these kittens.

At the end of the day, it’s a purrfect tail.

Went there.

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