People’s favorite holiday is whatever holiday is next

As I was reaching the end of last night’s blog, I started recapping the highlights of the American Music Awards, which were still ongoing when I finished typing.

I was immensely enjoying the American Music Awards up to that point. There was ten minutes remaining, and as long as Kanye West didn’t grace the stage, then there was really nothing that could ruin what was a fine awards show.

But then, right before my eyes, the greatest thing to ever happen occurred.

There’s a very real chance this video gets removed from YouTube due to copyright infringement, so if it doesn’t work, just look it up yourself you lazy bastard. Anyway, it’s a video of Psy performing “Gangnam Style” at the conclusion of Sunday’s festivities.

The performance was great, and you can tell the audience was really vibing it and buying into Psy’s energy. What else could be better?

Oh that’s right, that guy called MC Hammer.

Psy and MC Hammer were on the same stage at the same time. It’s just, I mean… I’ve never attempted to look for a shooting star, or a meteor shower, or one of those eclipses that comes around once every seven years, but this was better. Seeing Psy and MC Hammer on the same stage simultaneously is better than any natural phenomenon that could ever occur. My life is truly better for having witnessed it. And if you watch the YouTube video, then yours will be to.

But anyway, it’s the start of a new workweek, and the one saving grace is that we will all be receiving a Thanksgiving break.

Because some pilgrims and Indians did some shit a while ago, we get a holiday. And don’t worry, I’m not going to start shitting on Thanksgiving — I never will — but I will start shitting on the people who won’t shut up about how much they love this holiday.

Here’s a sentence that will be uttered by every American this week who has the ability to speak:

“Oh man, I can’t wait for Thanksgiving! No work, I can sleep late, watch some football, eat some great food, see my family, and then pass out from all of the turkey! I love this holiday!”

And even the mute people will sign that sentence to their other mute friends. It’s universal.

And I’m not going to insult people for being excited about a holiday. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s just that I see the same exact people excited about every holiday ever. I truly I wish I could load the Facebook statuses of people in the weeks preceding every major holiday. It would be something like:

March: “Oh man, three day weekend from work! Going to my friend’s barbecue! I love Memorial Day. Best holiday ever!”

April: “Oh man, so much chocolate! I love those cream filled eggs my mom gets me because she still thinks I’m seven. Easter, best holiday ever!”

July: “Oh man, just bought some firecrackers! Going to my friend’s party! I love the 4th of July. Best holiday ever!”

October: “Oh man, I get to dress up in a costume and watch girls dress up in slutty outfits? Sign me up! I love Halloween. Best holiday ever!”

You get the point.

Every holiday has its own unique flair that gives it some allure. With the exception of Valentine’s Day, you are very rarely going to find people who actually dislike a national holiday. Except Earth Day — screw that.

So we’re going to have to bear people blabbering about how much they love Thanksgiving over the next few days. And then after that, expect a few Black Friday statuses, and then, with almost no time lapse in between, you’re going to get the Christmas love.

My favorite? “Just heard Christmas music on the radio. It’s the best time of the year!”

oh, and don’t forget about all that Hanukkah love too…

LOL JUST KIDDING.

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