It’s only February 28, and yet, I don’t think we will see a more intriguing picture during the rest of 2013 than this one:
Don’t adjust your computer screen. That is, indeed, Dennis “The Worm” Rodman — the eccentric and flamboyant basketball star of the late 80s and 90s — with Kim Jong Un, the 29-year-old supreme leader of North Korea.
You know, that country that hates us. That really, really hates us. And practically everyone else for that matter.
That same country that deprives its citizens of basic human needs, and has built a country contingent on its military.
That same country that is devoted towards improving its nuclear program, just so that they could kill everyone.
And yet, here is their leader, smiling, having a jolly old good time with an American. It’s not Barack Obama. It’s not Condoleeza Rice. It’s not even Angelina Jolie.
It’s Dennis Rodman.
Rodman is in North Korea as part of an HBO documentary about basketball diplomacy, and while he’s there, he made a pit stop in Pyongyang and watched a basketball game with Kim Jong Un. Allegedly, Kim Jong Un is a “diehard” basketball fan, and was especially a huge fan of the Chicago Bulls during their 7-title reign in the 90s, in which Rodman was a big part of.
Wow. The NBA has been undergoing an ambitious marketing campaign the past few years, trying to spread its sport overseas and gain attention in other countries. Had they known that their popularity spread all the way to North Korea, they may not have tried so hard.
And perhaps this is useful information for Obama. If we want North Korea to disable their nuclear missiles, then instead of offering them food and money, maybe he can just shoot them some court side Bulls tickets? Problem solved.
Rodman supposedly told Jong Un that he has a “friend for life.” I wonder if they are Facebook friends by now?
But let’s get on to more important matters, and revisit the picture above. As I said, it is one of the more intriguing, compelling photos we will ever see. Let’s dissect it.
I just can’t get over Kim Jong Un’s appearance. Every time I see him, it blows my mind that this guy actually leads a country. In every picture, he just looks like a normal dude, having fun and chilling out with his buddies.
In fact, I legitimately think that Kim Jong Un and I would get along. If I showed up to my college dormitory my freshman year having not yet met my roommate, and all of a sudden Kim Jong Un walked in, and I had no idea who he was, I think him and I would grow to be good friends. I can see me and him throwing back some beers, watching some basketball, and then going out to bars and picking up girls.
With Kim Jong’s endearing smile and personality, and my charm and good looks, I’m sure we’d be elite wingmen for one another.
And then you have Rodman to his left, who, for once, actually looks normal. Rodman was notorious during his playing days for having vibrant colored hair, featuring a different color every other week. But in this photo, he’s cleaned up, he looks ravishing, and his hair is a normal color.
Again, it’s still a very difficult image to process.
I’m pretty sure that the black guy in the red hoodie is being held hostage. If you look back at the original picture at the top, he is the only person in the scene who is not smiling. On the contrary, he looks tense and nervous. Nervous as in, if he makes one wrong move, he’s dead.
And the two guys next to him? Those are the people who are keeping him in bay. Just look at them — they are eyeing him like hawks on their prey.
It’s really easy to miss the girl directly above Rodman. But once you notice her, it’s horrifying. I’ve never seen anyone stare more intently at somebody in my life than she is at Rodman in this photo.
It’s almost like she’s been placed there to keep an eye on him, and if he tries to harm Kim Jong Un, or worse, tries to free his friend in the red hoodie, then she’s going to toss throwing star right into his gullet.
All I know is, if I ever see an Asian woman stare at me like that, then I know it’s over.
And to cap off this whole “Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea,” adventure, the recently inducted NBA Hall of Famer has been posting on Twitter during his travels abroad. Here is one of them in particular:
Pretty funny Tweet, but it’s a little inaccurate. The “Gangnam Style Dude,” who goes by the stage name of Psy, made sure to correct Rodman on his geographical inaccuracy:
I really can’t think of a better way to end today’s post than that.