I’m all for solidarity and equality, but please don’t change your Facebook profile picture.

As long as you’re not one of those people who has more than 1,000 Facebook friends — and seriously, what is up with those people?! — then you are exposed to the same cast of characters who regularly post Facebook statuses.

Therefore, it’s extremely noticeable when people change their Facebook profile pictures. Not just because you receive an update about said change, but because you become used to their profile picture by virtue of constantly seeing it popping up on your Newsfeed every few hours.

Changing your Facebook profile picture is a lifestyle change. It’s the least significant lifestyle change there is, but it is a lifestyle change nonetheless. When we grow to be a little weary of our day-to-day lives, we make a change. Maybe we style our hair differently. Perhaps we purchase a new wardrobe. Changing your Facebook profile picture accomplishes the same goal, just on a smaller scale.

But lately, people have been changing their profile pictures for a different reason.

About a dozen people on my Newsfeed have changed their profile picture to this image of an equal sign. Obviously you should all know that they are doing it to express their support for marriage equality as the Supreme Court is currently deciding whether same-sex marriages deserve the same federal benefits as “traditional marriages.” Which they obviously do. But that’s not the point here.

I enjoy that people are voicing their support, but can’t they do it in a less confusing way?

Whenever I log onto Facebook, I feel like how John Malkovich did in the movie Being John Malkovich when he goes into the portal and everyone in the world looks exactly like him.

I can’t tell anyone apart. I see somebody make a status with this profile picture, and then the first person who comments on it also has the same picture. It’s madness!

But just like how changing your profile picture is the lowest form of making a lifestyle change, changing your profile picture to this equal sign is the lowest form of showing your support for marriage equality.

I fully and wholeheartedly support marriage equality. I always have. I’ve actually attended a same-sex wedding, and I had an awesome time. It was arguably the most drunk I’ve gotten at any wedding I’ve ever been to. So why do I need to change my profile picture? So people know publicly that I support it? In my opinion, that’s just doing it for political reasons. And that’s a perception I don’t think I feel I need to give off.

In fact, I even checked the three known gay people who I am Facebook friends with, and neither of them have changed their picture to the equal sign. So I really don’t think that the gay and lesbian community is actually relying on the Facebook support to influence legislative change. I doubt that a single Supreme Court justice — who are responsible for making this decision on marriage equality — is even aware of this Facebook trend. Not one.

Maybe it’s just the fluorescent colors that are bugging me out. It’s throwing my eyes off-kilter. And that’s another good question — why does every artwork that is created to support homosexuality have to be in the most neon, luminous colors that completely clash one another? Don’t such designs only continue to perpetuate the negative stereotypes associated with homosexuals that are being protested against in the first place? Like, what’s wrong with black? Or navy blue?

My eyesight is physically being harmed by these Facebook profile pictures. I’m going to have cataracts when I’m 70, and it’s all because of these bright pink and purple equal signs.

I’m just looking to forward to when these equal signs go away, and that’s for two reasons — It’ll mean that marriage will ultimately and finally be equal for all.

And secondly, I will be able to peruse Facebook again without having to wear sunglasses to protect my eyes.

Actually I’ll still wear sunglasses, because I’m just that damn cool.

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