Avril Lavigne gets it

Apparently there is no type of weather conditions that exist that people won’t talk about on Facebook. We already know about snow, hail, freezing cold and boiling heat, but now that list can be updated to include rain.

I live in Long Island, and yet, I know that it was downpouring in New York City this afternoon. How? Because people on Facebook thought it was interesting enough to make a status about.


That magical water that falls from the sky once every… couple of days. Yup, totally worth talking about. And the pictures just help paint the image so much better.

Do people realize that it just tornadoed in the West South Central United States? I just looked up “Oklahoma” on Wikipedia, and it actually identified the state as being located in the West South Central U.S. Do they know that’s, like, three directions?

Imagine being lost asking somebody for directions, only to get the response, “Oh yeah, just head west south central, and you’ll be there.”

But anyway, the point is that nobody should have the audacity to comment about the weather during the same week when tornadoes just killed dozens of people in our country. That’s like someone commenting about how much they hate school the same week of the Sandy Hook shooting.

The best part is that it hasn’t even rained here in Long Island. Haha, chumps! Long Island rules!

I’m going to get hit by lightning tonight, aren’t I?

Let’s move on. If anyone in the world still listens to z100, then they know that Avril Lavigne has released a new single. The song is titled, “Here’s to Never Growing Up.”

Here’s the jam:

Avril Lavigne has undergone an interesting career plight. The self-proclaimed Canadian Pop Princess burst on the scene fast with the song “Complicated” when she was just 18. Everybody loves that song. It’s catchy, relatable and easy to sing along to. I know all the words by heart and I haven’t listened to it in 10 years. Fine, 10 months. Fine, 10 minutes. Fine, I’m listening to it right now.

Avril always relied on her punk image. She didn’t try to blend in. She died her hair. She wore black eye shadow. She cursed in her songs. She was no All-American girl like an early Britney Spears.

Then, like all celebrities, she got married and got divorced. Since then, she’s put out two albums, and it’s clear she has that “I don’t give a f*ck” mentality. That is evidenced by the names of her last two leading singles, “What the Hell” and the one I posted above.

When I listened to her latest song, I couldn’t help but think how many people might compare her to Ke$ha. They’re both attractive in a slutty sort of way, they both sing about getting drunk and going to clubs, and they both ignore my Tweets. Very eerie similarities there.

However, I think this is a huge mistake. After a deep case-study on Ke$ha, I determined that she has very little talent when compared with most popular artists. Her songs truly have no meaning besides the aforementioned binge drinking and partying, and it’s pretty clear she relies on autotune to sound half-decent during her recordings. She does have writing credits on most of her songs, but she’s one of like six or seven people on each track. Meaning she could have added a sentence to the song and gotten credit for it.

Avril, on the other hand, has pipes. The girl can sing. She doesn’t compose too many songs that showcase her natural abilities, but the girl has a good voice. The track “When You’re Gone” is a good example of her abilities, when she actually tries.

Otherwise, she tries to make fun, poppy songs, and she does it quite well. And unlike Ke$ha, she has soul writing credits on the majority of her songs. She’s also written a couple top-quality songs for movie soundtracks that most people haven’t heard, including “Alice” for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, and “Keep Holding On,” for Eragon, which was a really bad movie.

Additionally, Avril’s debut album, Let Go, netted her eight Grammy nomination alone. Ke$ha has yet to receive one, shockingly.

But I don’t think people realize just how popular Avril Lavigne really is. The music video for her 2007 hit, “Girlfriend,” was the first song in YouTube history to reach 100 million views. On Twitter, she has 10.4 million followers — more than triple what Ke$ha has.

It doesn’t hurt that she’s Canadian. It means her popularity automatically expands across two large countries.

There’s just something about Avril Lavigne that she has gotten right throughout her whole career. She’s never been the center of a huge controversy, she’s never really looked upon negatively, and her albums are always successful. I guess that’s what happens when you actually burst onto the scene with a quality song, and then stick to your guns throughout your entire career. She’s only 28, too. There’s plenty of Avril left to come.

Alright, before I go, I need to point out that Anthony Weiner is running for mayor. He released the news in the form of a YouTube video. 

Three observations came to my mind when I watched this:

  1. Initially, I thought the “sexting” scandal was career suicide. I thought his political days were over. But now that I think about, it’s possible that, in hindsight, the scandal may have been the best thing for his career. Weiner may have been an up-and-comer years ago, but only the politically-savvy knew who he was. Now, everybody knows his name. And it’s not like he killed someone. Or was involved in a prostitution ring. He just likes to hit on women. The last political honcho who had a well-known reputation for hitting on women worked out pretty well, didn’t he?
  2. God damn, all these political ads are exactly the same, aren’t they? Dinner with the family, still images with veterans, narration on city streets. Give me a break. Your reputation has already been shattered — there’s no more need for a politically correct video, Weiner!
  3. His wife is hot, and she also stayed with him. I remember discussing this when the story first broke, and I condemned Weiner at the time for fooling around when he already hot a slammin’ wife. Come on, man. And now the bastard has a slammin’ wife who apparently is really loyal. How does a guy get so lucky?

Alright, I’m done. I’m afraid I won’t be around until next Tuesday, because I am heading up to Boston for Memorial Day weekend. Or as any other douchebag would say, “I’m shipping up to Boston!” And then post a link to the Dropkick Murphys song.

Have a happy and safe Memorial Day, everybody. But if anybody posts on Facebook or says aloud about how Memorial Day “is the official start to the summer,” then please correct them, or even go ahead and slap them in the face. Then tell them that summer officially begins on June 21.

Get it right.

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