Just don’t hold a camera anywhere near you when you’re naked

What a week it has been. On Wednesday, the news “broke” that New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner was once again involved in a sexting scandal. 

The story goes that after he resigned from Congress, he was at it once again, posting nude photographs of his schlong on a website called TheDirty.com. The news is only coming out now, however, and will pretty much ruin whatever minuscule chance he had at winning the election. To add more mockery to whole thing, his username on the website was “Carlos Danger.”

All I have to say about it is this should not really change anybody’s opinion of the man too much. If you thought his actions were despicable the first time, then obviously your thoughts were only confirmed. But if you never really thought it was a big deal, then this shouldn’t faze you too much considering it happened over a year ago.

If this happened recently, then yes, the man’s an idiot. But by all accounts this latest “setback” happened well before he declared his mayoral candidacy. Either way, he’s not going to win, so it doesn’t even really matter. What does matter is that his wife is officially a fool, and it confirms my belief that political marriages are much different than normal marriages.

In traditional contexts, people marry out of love. Out of requited adoration for each other. In politics, people marry for power, and to benefit their own positions in the political game. His wife knows that without Weiner, she’s really nothing. I’m sure she’d be welcomed with open arms onto the panel of The View, or to star in her own Bravo reality series, but Huma Abedin clearly has greater political aspirations.

Hillary Clinton stuck with her unfaithful husband, and she was one black man away from becoming president. So that’s the lesson to learn here ladies, stick with your man even if he treats you wrong, and as long as there’s no black dude standing in your way, aim for the sky!

Also, if there really is a guy in the world with the actual name of Carlos Danger, his life will never be the same. Although it probably wasn’t too normal to begin with, either.

Manti Te’o really needs to teach a course about how to have an online relationship and not let it ruin your career. Because how he escaped out of that and ended up looking like the innocent one, I will never know. He could even teach the course online, and we’d never even know if the people who signed up for the class are real or not. Paradox.

The real, genuine lesson is just to not send promiscuous images of yourself over the Internet. It can only be a bad thing. Even if it’s to a girlfriend or boyfriend. People think they can send such images to their significant other, as if they will stay together forever. Let me tell you that one day, the two of you will fight, possibly break up, and out of anger, those images will be used as leverage.

In fact, if you plan to remove your clothing, then just remove all cell phones, cameras, iPads and iTouches from your room completely. Don’t even take the risk. Is that a little overly cautious? Maybe. But it’s the best way to ensure that your junk will not one day be plastered all over Reddit.

Snapchat isn’t even safe anymore, since all the tech-savvy folks realized that you could take a screenshot before the image fades away. Trust me when I say that there is not one single, beneficial or safe method on earth in which you can take a naked photo of yourself and expect no consequences.

I hate to say it but taking a selfie is much more safer than sexting. You’ll never see a politician fall from grace over a selfie scandal. Or will we? I mean, I wouldn’t vote for him, but at least he wouldn’t be shunned from politics altogether.

And if you think about it, sexting is really just taking a naked selfie.

And when you find yourself in life taking a naked selfie, there’s really no coming back from that.

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