Alas, the Lady Gaga hiatus is coming to an end

On November 15, 2011, “Marry the Night,” the fifth single from Lady Gaga’s second studio album, Born this Way, was released. Why is that significant? Because she has not released anything since.

For 623 days, the world has been relatively Lady Gaga-free.

But that will soon be over. In just 19 days (Aug. 19), the first single from Lady Gaga’s new album, Artpop, will hit the airwaves. The album will follow three months later on November 11, almost exactly two years after her last single.

Brace yourself. Because I think a lot of people have taken the absence of Lady Gaga for granted. Yes, there is a lot of shitty music on the radio, but for the better part of two splendid, marvelous years, we have not had to endure a Gaga song playing on every radio station every second of the day. There was a point in my life when I would check all of my radio presets, and a song of hers was playing on every single one of them.

That hasn’t been the case recently, though. I’ve been able to flip through my stations, not having to fear a Lady Gaga song blasting through my vehicle during my morning commute.

I’ve been able to peruse through the Internet, not having to see her picture on every website.

And I’ve watched award shows without seeing not only her, but whatever crazy, attention-seeking garb that she had on.

To be perfectly fair, it wasn’t really Lady Gaga’s fault. She is who she is. She’s flamboyant, artsy, opinionated, peacockish and, man, can she sing. And I’m not being sarcastic. Many singers out there rely on a schtick or a gimmick to gain popularity — Lady Gaga does not need to. She is an incredible singer that just happens to be weird as hell.

And as a result, the media — and pretty much the entire world — became infatuated with her. It also didn’t hurt that there was basically zero layoff between her first and second albums. The final single of the The Fame, called “Paparazzi,” was released on July 6, 2009. The first single off her next album debuted on February 11, 2011, however, in between that time, she released three singles from an extended play, including arguably her biggest hit to date, “Bad Romance.” So again, there was practically no time in between.

For the better part of three years, Lady Gaga was everywhere. Everywhere. It was her world, and we were just living in it.

Yet, as swiftly as she exploded onto the scene, it felt like she disappeared just as quickly. It’s almost as if the entire world took a collective deep breath and said, “Okay, that’s enough for now.” Although, with the departure of Lady Gaga came the emergence of One Direction. So one can certainly argue if the music industry has been better off.

For seemingly two years, we haven’t heard a peep from Lady Gaga. And again, it’s not that I hated her, I just couldn’t take anymore of the hoopla that surrounded her every freaking day. It was too much. So I was glad to see it tail off.

But that’s all going to change. The first single off the new album, “Applause,” will be here in two and-a-half short weeks, and may even dethrone Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” from its eight-week reign atop the Billboard charts. My prediction is that it will. She will make her live comeback six days later on Aug. 25 at the MTV Video Music Awards at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, and you can damn well bet she will the top trending topic worldwide on Twitter that night.

And never one to do things the traditional way, she will also apparently be releasing a smartphone app simultaneously with her album, which, according to her, will “alter the human experience with social media.”

Oh boy.

Again, people will interpret her comeback in many different ways. Her fans will rejoice. Her detractors will reprehend. Some may even be indifferent.

All I am trying to do is warn you all that a firestorm is on its way. Because when Lady Gaga cometh, she does not do it quietly.

She was just born that way.

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