Well, I’m never complaining about anything again.

Often times we witness people’s personal stories of adversity and overcoming obstacles, and hearing their tales of triumph usually put things in perspective in our own lives. All over the world, there are people with devastating disabilities who still manage to accomplish great things. And when we learn about them, it makes our trivial problems and annoyances seem foolish.

Well, at least for like five minutes, it does. Let’s face it. Most people see an inspirational video and think, “Wow, that really makes me look at life differently. I’m going to stop complaining about little things from now on.” But five minutes later, they forget. Five more minutes later, they’re back to complaining about a friend who talked behind their back that one time. Give it five more minutes and they’re crying in a corner scribbling “FML” on the wall.

It takes a lot more than one motivational story for us to stop thinking selfishly, and to alter our lifestyle, regardless of how inspirational it was.

In the end, we all go back to thinking about our own lives, problems and personal situations. And very quickly.

Well, let me give you a story about a disadvantaged individual that might put things into perspective for a little longer than five minutes.

His name is Wesley Warren Jr., he’s 49 years old, and he suffers from scrotal elephantiasis. It’s exactly as bad is it sounds. No, actually, it’s worse — much worse.

Elephantiasis involves the thickening of skin and tissue, causing certain body parts to swell to extravagant sizes. It’s an unfortunate disease to have anywhere, but Mr. Warren has it in a place that is worse than any other. His scrotum.

It’s still worse than you think. It’s not like his ballsack is just a little bigger — or that it’s even the size of a soccer ball or basketball. Instead, it’s the size of a small rhinoceros.

To be precise — it weights 132 pounds.

Think about that. That means his scrotum weights more than most females. It means it weighs more than most people can bench press. It weighs so much, and is so grotesque, that the guy actually needs to purchase a large-hooded sweatshirt to act as a sleeve to hide it. In other words, he actually requires a giant sack to cover his sack.

His condition is so unique that it caught the attention of a British film crew, who filmed and documented his struggles with the condition and made it into a movie, titled The Man with the 10-Stone Testicles.

Fortunately for Warren, a Californian surgeon performed a procedure on him, free of charge. So his testicles no longer resemble a beached manatee.

Looking to profit on the strangeness of this situation, TLC will also be airing a special about Warren’s struggles. Their name is a little more matter-of-fact — The Man with the 132 lb. Sctorum.

This is truly something that is really impossible to believe. You think you’ve heard everything, but then you go ahead and learn about this. What scares me the most is that this is something that actually developed overnight — literally. Wesley Warren had lived 44 years of his live bearing a normal sized scrotum, and said his troubles began in late 2008 after “accidentally striking” his testicles while he was sleeping. After experiencing intense pain, he woke up the next day with significant swelling. It only got worse.

Furthermore, doctors concluded that it is indeed possible that the condition was brought upon by trauma.

Essentially, what this means is it could happen to anyone. If that isn’t enough justification to start walking around everywhere with a jockstrap, I don’t know what is. And if I ever do take a significant strike to that region for whatever reason,, I’m going straight to the emergency room. I’m not taking any chances.

Again, nothing has given me more perspective in life than this story. Regardless of what happens to me in the future, I will think of Wesley Warren’s scrotum, and it will give me a renewed sense of vigor.

Because even with his humiliating and debilitating ailment, he still had the testicular fortitude to live his life to the fullest, and even had the cojones to show himself in public.

That really takes a lot of balls.

Goodnight.

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