This weekend, reports filtered in as to who this year’s Super Bowl halftime performer will be.
Honestly, it didn’t even matter who it was. When a “major” pop culture announcement like this comes, it’s going to have a negative backlash every time. If you don’t believe me, then just take a look back to a whole two weeks ago when Ben Affleck was tabbed as Batman.
The reports could have read: “This year’s halftime performer will be… a musician!” And there would have been an outcry.
People just love to react. They like hearing news and getting their opinion to the rest of the world as soon as possible. So when Bruno Mars was the one selected, I expected nothing less than a firestorm of criticism.
The majority of people took to the Internet to react before they even formed a rational thought on the subject. The news had barely settled into most people’s brains before their written response was published on some social media outlet. But that’s the age we live in now — one of rapid reaction.
Bruno Mars is, by all accounts, an energetic, lively performer who knows how to work a crowd. There’s no denying his vocal abilities, and he doesn’t rely on any gimmicks or antics to distinguish himself to the public. I think it’s a fine choice.
He’s relevant, talented and a good live performer. Oh, the humanity! What an awful decision!
What people need to realize is that there are more than die-hard NFL football fans watching the Super Bowl. The entire country is watching. People who have no interest in football watch this game. So the NFL has to take that into consideration when they make their decision.
Everyone remembers the notorious halftime show in 2004 with Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, and in the years after that, the NFL played it safe. From 2005 to 2010, it was Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen and The Who.
Finally, in 2011, they returned to the contemporary, making a not-so-subtle transition with the Black Eyed Peas. That decision deserved criticism. The Black Eyed Peas create dumbed-down songs that have singlehandedly depreciated people’s ability to recognize quality music. They are harmful to the world. So that deserved to be ridiculed.
Madonna followed the next year, and gave a performance so forgettable that I didn’t even remember she did it until I looked it up. Last year it was Beyonce, who I definitely did remember. Beyonce was a solid choice, because, again — relevant, talented, lively.
And now we have Bruno. But, in truth, it all comes down to one thing. And that is…
A halftime performance lasts 15 minutes, if even. They will be performing while you are in the middle of eating your 11th chicken wing, and doing your best to suppress farts so as to not befoul the room your friends are in. Is that 15-minute block so precious that it needs to comprise the most perfect of musical acts?
I would have to suddenly stop caring about thousands of different things before the Super Bowl halftime performer entered my stream of consciousness. And if I stop caring about a 1,000 different things at once, it means I probably just had a lobotomy. And if I ever did have a lobotomy, I think I’d have a lot more to worry about than who sings during the middle part of a football game. I’d also want some one to put me out of my misery with a pillow, Randall P. McMurray style a la One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Spoiler alert.
Once I hit the “publish” button on this blog, I won’t think about the halftime performance until the day it actually comes. And that’s how it should be for everyone else.