Miss America pageants are supposed to expose our shallowness, not our bigotry!

Let’s face it: nobody cares about the Miss America pageant more than two days after it ends. Right now, it’s been almost exactly 24 hours since it ended, so people still slightly care. Very, very slightly.

And the people who do care are very, very stupid. Because they care for all the wrong reasons.

One can argue incessantly about how the age-old pageant sends the wrong message to young girls — that looks are the only thing that matters. But we all know that’s not true. There’s like one or two things that matter, also.

But, what the Miss America Pageant is — plain and simply — is a conglomeration of beautiful, young women. And while people try so hard to instill the notion that “true beauty is on the inside,” we all forget one fundamental fact — looking good is a big accomplishment. It’s not an easy thing to do, and everyone in the world tries to look good. So why can’t we celebrate a group of girls who not only look good, but look really, really good?

No girl on this planet would turn down an opportunity to showcase their bikini body to the public if their’s was perfectly sculpted and toned. These girls have that, and they choose to flaunt it.

But anyway, the “controversy” this year doesn’t even center around that. Instead, idiots are complaining that a girl of Indian descent won the competition.

Nina Davuluri, 24, from New York, was crowned Miss America 2013 last night in Atlantic City. For her “talent,” she did a Bollywood dance. She’s the first Indian American women to win.

Now instead of me standing here on a pedestal and insulting these people for their ignorant and mind-numbing stupid remarks, I’m going to stand on a pedestal and explain why I am so much better than everyone else: it’s because my shallowness overshadows any racist notions that I could ever have.

When I see a woman — any woman at all — my mind instantly evaluates her physical beauty. Before I even process what race she is, what Nina Dcolor her skin is, or her ethnicity, I am forming a number between 1 and 10 to quantify her hotness.

While that makes me as shallow as any human can possibly be, it also makes me the furthest thing from a racist. I am so narrow-minded when it comes to evaluating women that the thought of thinking anything even remotely racist or bigoted doesn’t even enter my consciousnesses.

And that’s how everybody should be when they watch Miss America. Who the hell cares where the contestants are from? Yes, it is an interesting thing to know, but it shouldn’t have any impact on what you actually think of them as people. A girl is standing front and center on a stage wearing nothing but a bikini, and the first thing that people think is “OMG SHE’S INDIAN!”? What is wrong with the men of this world?!

The girl haters I get, because they are just jealous. That goes without saying. Instead of being honored on an international stage for their beauty, they’re sitting on their computer in sweatpants typing 140 characters at a time. So of course they’re going to hate.

But the guys have no excuse.

One day after her victory, Davuluri should be the target of worldwide flirtation, online perversion and maybe some light sexual harassment. Somebody should be making a YouTube video asking her on a date, like the guy who asked Kate Upton to prom.

Instead, she’s had to respond to racist remarks through social media, and that’s a shame.

Being shallow and superficial is often frowned upon in our society, but I think anyone would take such a person 10 out of 10 times compared to a bigot or a racist.

And I’m sure Nina Davuluri would wholeheartedly agree.

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