If anyone ever said “I’m sorry, not sorry” to me in real life I’d probably strangle them

At this point, everybody knows that hash tags have evolved into something they were never meant to be.

People forget that hash tags actually did serve a purpose. They categorize different topics on social media. If I want to see what people are saying on a certain subject matter, all I’d have to do is search it on Twitter and I’d be taken to hundreds of different posts about it, mainly because people hash tagged it.

For example, an appropriate context for hash tagging would be if you are watching a football game, and wished to comment on it, and wrote: “What was Eli Manning thinking with that pass? #Giants” …Then that’s good. Anyone who wants to join the worldwide conversation about the Giants would then see your post.

However, people have since abused hash tags. They use them unnecessarily, excessively and incorrectly. A hash tag is supposed to accentuate your post, and not be the center of attention. But it flipped. People began using hash tags as the punchline to their post instead, and, as a result, it detracts from the point they were actually trying to make.

Fortunately, the overuse of hash tags is beginning to enter national consciousness, as conveyed in a recent sketch by Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon. Given the great popularity these two men have — especially when they work together — it is my hope that people will start reevaluating the way that they use hash tags.

Until then, we’ll have to continue to tolerate them. I seriously try to not read people’s hash tags. But every now and then I can’t help myself. And I don’t know why I do it, either. Reading them only makes me hate the world a little bit more. And I don’t want to hate the world. I mean, it provided me with my existence, so I feel like I am slightly indebted to it.

But there’s certain hash tags that make me want to run outside with a blowtorch and start a forest fire. And the one I am thinking of in specific is this one:

#sorrynotsorry

What does this even mean?

They’re sorry, so I guess it’s implying that they’re apologetic about whatever words just preceded the hash tag. But, then… they’re not sorry anymore. And there’s not even a space in between the two thoughts. So there was never really an actual emotional range there. Undergoing a true emotional catharsis, where you regret your actions, and then come to accept them, well, that usually takes some time.

So for me to think that you went through that process in a matter of keystrokes is beyond ridiculous and it’s the ultimate form of hypocrisy.

What it clearly means is that somebody said something that they know is going to offend somebody, so they insert the hash tag to at least acknowledge that they are being controversial. But in the end, they don’t care. Hence, not being sorry.

Therefore, not only is it misleading and hypocritical, but it also gives your words less substance. What we say is what we believe, and that is what makes us who we are. Our words are our essence. If you want to say something controversial, or unpopular, just say it, God dammit. And have no regret.

By adding this repugnant hash tag, you are discrediting whatever point you are trying to make. When a person reads it, they’ll be like, Hamilton Burr Duel“Okay, this is what they think. I can deal with it… oh wait, what’s the hash tag say? ‘I’m sorry… not sorry… what the fuck?” And then they’ll move on to the next Facebook status, which is probably even worse.

Would you actually go up to a person in reality and say something, and then immediately follow it up with, “I’m sorry, not sorry.”? You’d look like you’re insane.

Imagine Aaron Burr, after shooting Alexander Hamilton during their notorious duel 209 years ago, going up to his dying adversary and saying, “Hey Alex, I’m sorry,” turn away, only to look back at him a second later and say “Not sorry. YOLO!”

I let most hash tags go. I don’t say anything. I hate them, but I don’t say anything.

This one has to stop.

If I see it again, not only will I block the person who said it, but I will report them.

And I am definitely, definitely, not sorry about that.

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