I always wish the media would report more good news … until some lucky sonofabitch finds millions of dollars of buried treasure in their backyard

Although I try my best to watch the morning and evening news under a detached lens, I’d still be lying if I said hearing about death, war and general violence repeatedly didn’t have some type of effect on me.

There’s no way you could possibly hear a story about a rape and still feel the same exact way you felt a moment before. Again, when you put on the news, you’re expecting to hear somber things, so that mindset does desensitize you a little bit. But it doesn’t fully block out of all of the negativity.

I also find myself wondering why the media doesn’t report more good news, or at least open with good news more often. I know the bad Saddle Ridge Hoardstories are the ones that attract the most viewers, but sometimes a heartwarming story can have that very same impact, but obviously in a much more pleasurable way.

Every one loves to hear about the kid with down syndrome who scored a touchdown. Or a dog that saved a 3-year-old child from drowning. Those are the stories I want. And that’s what I’m waiting for when I turn on the news. Forget the death and destruction, give me some positivity, damn it.

But sometimes, sometimes, there’s a positive story that makes me angrier than any negative story ever could. By now most of you have likely heard about this California couple who found a rusty can in their backyard one year ago, only to open it to find 1,400 coins from the 19th century stowed inside. After getting the coins appraised by a numismatics firm called Kagin’s, it was discovered that they have a face value of about $28,000, but could sell for more than $10 million.

Well, fuck.

I mean, stuff like this just doesn’t happen. We all had that phase in our lives where we watched movies or fantasized about being on a pirate ship searching for buried treasure. But it was never easy. There’s supposed to be a long sea voyage to get there, several villains who pop up to hinder your plight, the possibility of a mutiny within your own crew along the way, and even when you do Pirate treasureget there, it’s supposed to be extremely difficult to find the ‘X’ that marks the spot.

But this couple, who are being identified simply as John and Mary, stumbled upon this buried fortune in their backyard.

I hate them.

I’m not naive enough to say “Why couldn’t this be me?” Because this isn’t like the lottery, where you have winners popping up by the month. This is something that happens once — ever. The only other time anything remotely like this ever happened was in 1985 in Jackson, Tennessee, when construction workers discovered $1 million worth of gold underground.

But that kind of makes sense. Construction workers should find buried treasure. Not two random people named John and Mary.

So instead of saying, “Why not me?” I prefer to say “Why anybody?” Why does there have to be somebody out there who got so damn lucky that they became millionaires without even trying to be, when the rest of us have to bust our ass every day just to make any money at all.

John and Mary chose not to reveal their surnames or location, which was probably a smart move.

I guess the lesson is to be careful what I wish for. Instead of desiring to hear about good news on TV, I’m going to instead break out a smile the next time I hear about somebody getting robbed at gunpoint outside of a WalMart.

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