Well, it didn’t take long for selfies to suck again

Earlier this month Ellen DeGeneres propelled selfies to the highest point of their existence with her mega-celebrity photo she took during the Academy Awards ceremony, which within two hours became the most retweeted picture of all time.

The photo became so popular, that for a few days, selfies were cool again. But you knew it wasn’t going to last, and that’s why, in my recap of the Oscars, I urged every one to just stop. Stop taking selfies altogether. Let’s appreciate this one, and then let’s all never do it again.

Well, it didn’t even take three weeks for selfies to reach their lowest point. 

I first heard this song, called #Selfies, on the radio while I was driving about a week ago. My thoughts as it was playing were, “What the f&%! is this?” But then I listened to the lyrics, and thought, “Of course. Of course. Why did it take so long?”

The song is terrible. Absolutely horrific. Let’s just get that out of the way. The girl speaking during it could not be more annoying — which is obviously what the song is going for — and the beat sucks. And any comparisons to the Harlem Shake are just in insult to the Harlem Shake. Because that song had an awesome beat and one of the best drops of all time.

But how can you blame the people who made this song? It was an obvious opportunity to capitalize on a word that has become so immensely popular in our country in recent years. Those people are two New York-based disc jockeys named Drew Taggart, 24, and Alex Pall, 28.

The duo call themselves The Chainsmokers, and their song has collected just under 22 million views on YouTube as of Wednesday night, and is #28 in its second week on the Billboard Hot 100. Baauer’s Harlem Shake rode its viral status all the way to #1 on that same chart, just for comparison’s sake.Chainsmokers selfie

I can’t blame them. They seized on the moment and it’s paying dividends, because now people know who they are. If they continue to create shitty, equally annoying music, then yes, I’ll hate them.

Unfortunately, their conquest is our misfortune, because we now have to bear this song for god knows how long. Much to my displeasure, it actually played while I was at the gym today. Trust me, there’s no bigger buzzkill to your workout than hearing an annoying white girl speak loudly about taking a selfie. Fortunately, I had my iPod on me.

I have to imagine that the song is so unpleasant that the novelty will wear off soon, and it will just go away. Call me crazy, but I have enough faith in humanity to believe that most people’s amusement of the song won’t actually lead them to like it. But, you know, people have let me down before … so nothing would surprise me.

The other question is: what impact will this have on the actual art of selfies?

My prediction? They won’t go away, and they’ll still be awful.

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