Wait, so they seriously haven’t found this plane yet?

It’s been nearly two weeks since Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 went off the grid, and we are not the slightest bit closer to knowing where it is.

In today’s modern era, I’m amazed that an airplane can go missing long enough for it to become a story. But now we are at two weeks, and it’s beyond comprehension.

There’s been so little clues of the plane’s whereabouts that it’s barely even a top five story anymore. We have Ukraine still in DJ and Stevedissaray, the subsequent fallout of Russia’s decision to intervene Crimea, and unrelated, the testimony of Osama Bin Laden’s son-in-law Sulaiman Abu Ghaith revealing details from 9/11, the death of Wetboro Baptish Church founder Fred Phelps and the upcoming April 6 premiere of the fourth season of Game of Thrones all outdoing this story.

Hell, even the first day of spring, March Madness and the reunion of the Full House actors who played DJ Tanner and her boyfriend Steve on some crappy ABC show are getting more publicity than the Malaysian flight at this point.

The reason? Missing planes are not supposed to happen in real life.

They’re supposed to happen in distant history when technology was infinitely inferior to what it is today (See: Amelia Earhart), or in TV shows (see: Lost), but not in real life. Except it’s happening, and people don’t know how to react.

It’s fun to speculate about conspiracy theories in ancient history, when the people involved would be long dead anyway, or in TV shows, where it’s fictional. But in real life, it’s sadistic because you’re talking about actual people who were alive two weeks ago, and thousands of family members who just want to know what happened to their loved ones.

Throughout the last several days, the main updates have revolved around the timeliness of when a crew member turned off the Courtney Love theorycommunication system, the relevance of a flight simulator found in the home of captain Zaharie Ahmad Shah, and whether debris found in the Indian Ocean by satellite imagery is actually a piece of the plane. It probably isn’t.

The irony behind that last piece of news, though, is it means Courtney Love was actually on the right track when she posted her own theory on her Facebook page regarding the flight’s fate.

To me — as somebody who is the furthest thing from an aviation expert and whose knowledge of the situation is limited to what has been published in major publications — only two things can officially be deduced.

1) The plane did not fly over any major countries, because it would most certainly have been detected by their own radar.

2) It landed somewhere where there is no human civilization nearby. Because, then, someone would have like …. seen it, and stuff.

That’s my contribution to this situation.

I think the other reason why people are becoming less motivated to talk about it is because, after this long, the mystery and intrigue has worn off, and I think everyone knows what’s coming: the plane crash landed in water and everyone is dead. At this point we are just waiting for the tragic inevitable.

But never in my wildest dreams, when I first blogged about this on March 10, did I imagine there still would not be a solution more than a week later. Crazy.

A person could have theoretically lapsed into a coma a day after the flight officially went missing on March 9, woke up this morning, and still would not have missed a single piece of news on this story.

But then again, if you were in an 11-day coma, then you probably have your own problems to worry about.

Just … find the plane.

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