One of the best features of having friends is that you have somebody to accompany you to things that you otherwise would not want to go to alone.
It’s easy to find a friend to go with you to a movie. Or to a bar. Or a concert. That usually requires a couple of texts, or an email, and bam, you’ve got a wingman.
But it’s the slightly irregular activities that are a much harder sell. The beer festival in some distant, coastal town. A Renaissance fair. The beach at 8 a.m.
Naturally, this is more of a problem for single people, who don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend that is willing to accompany them everywhere. It’s also less of a problem for people who have a ton of friends. Everyone wants that one go-to friend that is willing to do almost anything at anytime, but it’s better to have a variety of friends with different interests, so you can have the opportunity to pick and choose who you’d like to invite to places based on who it would appeal to best. That’s the ideal.
And since you have a lot of friends, this could all be accomplished in private, via text or email. That way, you could get turned down multiple times and no one would be any the wiser. The sixth person you ask will not be privy to the fact that they were not even close to your first option.
One time, I had an extra ticket to a Sara Bareilles concert. Thinking I had to invite a girl, I texted approximately 12 females who I thought might enjoy the show. I reached way down into my address book for that one. And every single one of them said no.
Ironically, the first dude I asked to come after that … said yes. The concert still ended up being a great time. But that’s neither here nor there.
The people who have a small amount of friends, or very little friends, or no friends, don’t really have the luxury of a deep address book, and thus, must be a little more creative when trying to seek a partner in crime for the day.
But then comes the ultimate act of desperation.
You’ve all seen it. One of your Facebook friends will post a link to some event that is happening in the very near future, and caption it with “Who wants to come to this with me???” And then they’ll tag like four friends who they think could be a potential fit. Which, clearly means they’re not close enough with those people to text them, and also creates an uncomfortable situation for them, because they now must come up with an excuse.
This always makes me cringe because it never works out. Never. Not once, in the history of my Facebook life, have I seen someone try to solicit a friends on Facebook to attend something, and receive a response that said, ‘Yeah! I’m totally game to come to that with you!”
Instead, the post usually goes completely untouched for several hours. Maybe one person will like it.
It’s almost like the scene in Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise gets fired from his job, and on the way out, yells, “Who’s coming with me?!” while everyone stares at him like he’s psychotic. Except in this instance, there’s no Renee Zellweger to save them.
Out of sympathy, a friend from out-of-state will comment something along the lines of, “I would if I still lived in [location]! xo”
Finally, about 10 hours later, half of the people tagged will muster the energy to put them out of their misery with a courtesy excuse. And then it’s over.
The person never goes to the event, and now everybody knows they have no friends.
It’s one of life’s most tragic downfalls.