Let’s all remember why we love autumn

It’s that time of the year again where the temperature drops, the leaves change colors, pumpkin spice coffees become all of the rage, yada yada yada.

Everybody’s favorite season is whatever season comes next. In mid July, we all talk about how much we can’t stand the 85-degree weather with humidity, and how we can’t wait for the fall. After Thanksgiving, people then will become excited for winter, and the season’s first snow. A few autumnblizzards later, we’re begging for spring, and then, alas, it’s everybody’s favorite season — summer!

But right now, we’re on the cusp of autumn. So right now that’s what everybody’s favorite season is.

I’m not intending to judge anyone, in fact, I am pretty excited for it as well.

So to prepare everyone for the first day of fall on Sept. 23, let’s remember all of the things we love about this time of year.

Cooler temperatures: Nobody likes sweating throughout the duration of an entire day. I’ll miss being able to wear shorts and a t-shirt every day, but I gladly welcome the high 60s, low 70s temperatures with a comfortable breeze. Or, as the Neighborhoud calls it, “Sweater weather.”

Fall fashion: For working professionals, summer presents a fashion nightmare. No one likes wearing a button down shirt and khakis in the summer. But in the fall, it works perfectly. All my nice work clothes are basically autumn-friendly, and not meant for summer. I have an entire rack of plaid button-downs that haven’t been touched since May, and that’s not OK.

Iced coffee to hot coffee: If you’re a coffee addict like me, then you probably never want to see an iced coffee again. Don’t get me wrong, they’re delicious, but after three straight months of having one every morning, it’s time to return to how coffee was always meant to be drank: scorching.

Not only that, but … seasonal coffees. Hide your Facebook feeds, because you are about to see people express just how much they love pumpkin spice lattes. Also — pumpkin beer. I personally am more of a gingerbread latte guy come Christmastime, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves

Football! Once the NFL season begins, sports fans wonder how they survived Sundays over the summer without it (probably by … going outside?) Football on Sunday allows us to sit lazily on a couch all day and watch our nation’s premier athletes beat the living shit out of one another. How is that not prime entertainment?

Anticipation of Thanksgiving: Thanksgiving pretty much encapsulates what fall is all about. It’s right in the heart of the season, so you have the leaves in full bloom, the temperatures comfortably in the 60s, and, on top of that, it’s a day full of food and football, and seeing family members you probably haven’t spoken with since last Thanksgiving.

Oscar season: I know most people are more excited about summer blockbusters, full of the next Transformers movie and comic book adaptations, but for me, Oscar season is where it’s at. October through December is when all of the Oscar-bait movies come out, meaning the top quality films of the year. Give me Russell Crowe playing a schizophrenic genius any day over Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern.

Misery for your teacher friends: Teachers do extremely admirable work educating our youth, especially those who go into inner-city schools to work with low-income students. But — and no offense to my teacher friends — they become my number one enemy in the summer. I can’t imagine having 2-3 months off in the summer. It’s just not fair.

I also am humored by the double standard of them posting on Facebook how excited they are for the summer vacation, only to post two months later how excited they are for school to be back. You can’t be excited ALL THE TIME.

Needless to say, come Sept. 1 … I feel no sympathy.

“it’s so … beautiful.” Even the most unenthusiastic sociopath can’t help but take a minute to observe the beautiful autumn scenery this season presents. The colorful leaves and flowers are what shitty iPhone photographs are made of — and you won’t even need to use an Instagram filter!

So that’s what we all have to be excited about. Yes, the summer is coming to an end, but on comes the fall, with new beginnings, new opportunities …

All that crap.

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