I’m not all about that bass, but I am a little bit about that bass

Don’t you just love it when an artist goes from complete and utter obscurity to a household name all because of one song?

Anybody who’s checked the Billboard Hot 100 lately may notice a name sitting atop the list, who, six months ago, was probably singing in coffee shops to people waiting on line to order a soy latte topped with a cinnamon drizzle.

“All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor is taking the world by storm. She performed it on The Tonight Show, using classroom instruments Meghan Trainorwith Jimmy Fallon and The Roots, and the song is becoming more popular by the day.

I believe I only heard it for the first time around a month ago. And I can recall my exact reaction upon listening to it.

In the song’s first 30 seconds, I thought it was garbage. For the next 15 seconds after that, I sensed that there might be more to the song than meets the eye. And then, bam, it reaches the hook, and it’s like, “Hot damn, this girl can sing!”

The song kind of starts with that playful talking/rapping style that Ke$ha somehow both started and ruined, and then it instantly feels like a throwback to a song from the 1950s, complete with doo-wop background singers and everything.

Of course, the song’s also being lauded for its message, which implies that we’re all perfect just the way we are. Or rather … just girls. Because as all guys know, we’re allowed to have beer bellies and still be awesome.

Meghan Trainor herself is not exactly your prototypical “skinny girl,” but she’s not fat either, which I presume is exactly why she is singing the song. You can’t have a freaking size 0 model singing about how physical beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Even her name is lacking in appeal. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are names befitting of sex symbol pop icons.

Meghan Trainor is the name of a girl you stare at for two minutes on Tinder trying to figure out if you want to swipe left or swipe right.

And I really don’t mean that to be insulting. I get the song. I get it. Females shouldn’t waste every moment of their lives trying to look how they Ariana Grande2believe men want them to look. It’s a very positive message for young girls, even if she does use the words “skinny bitches” in the song.

She seems like a very likable girl and I hope Meghan Trainor has a career beyond being a one-hit wonder. But, if you’re going to be a one-hit wonder, at least do it for being all about that bass. I’m still not even entirely sure what that means.

Speaking of girls who will not be one-hit wonders. Ariana Grande.

God damn, how much could one girl luck out in life? She’s not only gorgeous, with a bubbly and effervescent personality and an irresistibly cute smile, but the girl has one of the best singing voices, like, ever.

Just check out her performance on Saturday Night Live last week, when she slows down “Break Free” into an acoustic version, highlighting her incredible vocals.

She seems to be in that pop/dance blend mode right now, which is all the rage these days, but I hope she sings more stuff like this moving forward. Because her voice is just too good for her not to.

But, on that same Billboard Hot 100 list, “Break Free” currently sits at #7, six spots behind Meghan Trainor.

I guess the world is just all about that bass.


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